----- Original Message ----- 
From: Mary Feinsinger 
To: Georgina Finch 
Sent: Friday, April 29, 2005 11:36 PM
Subject: Fwd: Mozart effect is a fraud...


Subject: Re: Mozart effect is a fraud...

Another Urban Legend

A new report now says that the Mozart effect is a fraud (via Terry Teachout). 
For you hip urban professionals: no, playing Mozart for your designer baby will 
not improve his IQ or help him get into that exclusive pre-school. He'll just 
have to be admitted into Harvard some other way.

Of course, we're all better off for listening to Mozart purely for the pleasure 
of it. However, one wonders that if playing Mozart sonatas for little Hillary 
or Jason could boost their intelligence, what would happen if other composers 
were played in their developmental time?

Liszt effect: Child speaks rapidly and extravagantly, but never really says 
anything important.

Raff effect: Child becomes a bore.

Bruckner effect: Child speaks very slowly and repeats himself frequently. Gains 
reputation for profundity.

Wagner effect: Child becomes a megalomaniac. May eventually marry his sister.

Mahler effect: Child continually screams - at great length and volume - that 
he's dying.

Schoenberg effect: Child never repeats a word until he's used all the other 
words in his vocabulary. Sometimes talks backwards. Eventually, people stop 
listening to him. Child blames them for their inability to understand him.

Babbitt effect: Child gibbers nonsense all the time. Eventually, people stop 
listening to him. Child doesn't care because all his playmate! s think he's 
cool. 

Postscript from Cori Ellison:

Yes! And what about:
 
Schumann Effect - Child elopes with piano teacher's daughter, tries to stretch 
his fingers, and goes crazy.
 
Rossini Effect - Child's speech keeps getting faster, higher, louder, and more 
florid, until he suddenly retires at an early age.
 
Philip Glass Effect - Child refuses to develop themes, keeps repeating himself 
endlessly, and becomes inexplicably popular with drug users.
  


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