Dear Mohit,

Thank you very much for shepherding the document and for your helpful review!

As you may have seen, version -06 was just submitted. Hopefully, this
version should address your comments.
https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-lwig-energy-efficient-06

Please let us know whether any further changes are needed.

Cheers,

Carles


> Dear all
>
> The chair has asked me to do the shepherd write up for
> draft-ietf-lwig-energy-efficient-05.
>
> I have gone through the document again and I have some comments that I
> think should be addressed first. Most of them are minor and editorial in
> nature. It would be great if the authors can fix them quickly (possibly
> by next week?). I will then submit my writeup. Here are the list of
> issues:
>
> 1. The abstract is little hard to read and understand. Here is an
> alternative suggestion:
>
> This document describes the challenges for energy-efficient protocol
> operation on constrained devices and the current practices used to
> overcome those challenges.  It summarizes the main link-layer techniques
> used for energy-efficient networking, and it highlights the impact of
> such techniques on the upper layer protocols so that they can together
> achieve an energy efficient behavior.  The document also provides an
> overview of energy-efficient mechanisms available at each layer of the
> IETF protocol suite specified for constrained node networks.
>
> 2. Please check the spacing between the term and its citation. "The IETF
> has developed a suite of Internet protocols suitable for such
> constrained devices, including 6LoWPAN ([RFC6282
> <https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc6282>],[RFC6775
> <https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc6775>],[RFC4944
> <https://tools.ietf.org/html/rfc4944>]), RPL[RFC6550], and
> CoAP[I-D.ietf-core-coap]." For example, RPL[RFC6550] should by
> RPL_space_[RFC6550].
>
> 3. Typo in the following text. "This document tries to summarize the
> design considerations of making the IETF contrained protocol suite as
> energy-efficient as possible." First, "contrained" should be
> "constrained". Replace "of" with "for" so the text would be: "summarize
> the design consideration *for* making the IETF constrained....".
>
> 4. Perhaps tone down the wording here, especially the word
> "comprehensive": "it provides a comprehensive overview of the techniques
> used by the lower layers to save energy and how these may impact on the
> upper layers"
>
> 5. It is generally a good practice to expand all acronyms once before
> you use them in the document. For example in Section 2 "Overview",
> currently RPL is used without ever expanding the term and there is no
> citation.
>
> 6. Please explain what are atom operations and common atom operations.
>
> 7. What are UWB links? Again an acronym is used with no expansion or
> citation.
>
> 8. Section 3.1 "Radio Duty Cycling techniques" typo: "Receiver Initated
> Transmission (RIT)" should be "Receiver Initiated Transmission (RIT)"
>
> 9. Section 3.5.2, please expand TDMA, 3.5.3 please expand PAN, CSMA, CA.
>
> 10. In section 3.5.3, it says "6TiSCH working group has been recently
> created". Perhaps this is text leftover from old versions. 6TiSCH is no
> longer recently created?
>
> 11. Section 6.2, "none of these proposal has been adopted by the CoRE
> working group". This is also old information now. The pub sub draft has
> been adopted. Perhaps you also want to cite the other LWIG document that
> talks about sleepy nodes:
> https://tools.ietf.org/html/draft-ietf-lwig-crypto-sensors-01
>
> 12. Section 7: please replace "synergize" with another term more
> appropriate. "lower layer other than treating the lower layer as a black
> box" should be "lower layer rather than treating the lower layer as a
> black box".
>
> 13. Typos in Section 7: "compresss" should be "compress" and
> "non-sychronzed" should be "non-synchronized".
>
> Overall, thanks for the useful draft. I hope that you can quickly
> address the comments so that it can move forward.
>
> --Mohit
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