3 hari lalu, saya kembali giat meditasi anapanasati (setelah sempat berhenti beberapa bulan). Seperti biasa, saya mengambil tempat yang sama dan waktu yang sama. Duduk beralas bantal di lantai kamar tidur, jam 21.00.
Bertahun-tahun lalu, saya masih ingat pernah masuk dalam sebuah keheningan yang nyaman.... saat itu saya tanpa terasa duduk 2,5 jam. Tadi malam, entah berapa menit setelah saya duduk tenang memejamkan mata,.... lalu..... ada rasa bahwa saya akan kembali memasuki apa yang pernah saya rasakan bertahun lalu itu. entah kenapa.... sebuah rasa takut yang luar biasa mencekam, jantung berdebar kencang.... dan sungguh semakin mencekam.... pernah mencicipi wasabi? Ada rasa ingin menikmati rasa wasabi yang naik ke otak hingga meneteskan air mata, tapi juga deg-degan dengan rasa yang kita inginkan itu. Ibarat ejakulasi dini, konsentrasi pecah, dan rasa itu hilang entah ke mana.... Ada yang bisa memberi masukan akan hal ini ? Pak Hudoyo punya pendapat? ," DISCLAIMER : The information contained in this communication (including any attachments) is privileged and confidential, and may be legally exempt from disclosure under applicable law. It is intended only for the specific purpose of being used by the individual or entity to whom it is addressed. If you are not the addressee indicated in this message (or are responsible for delivery of the message to such person), you must not disclose, disseminate, distribute, deliver, copy, circulate, rely on or use any of the information contained in this transmission. We apologize if you have received this communication in error; kindly inform the sender accordingly. Please also ensure that this original message and any record of it is permanently deleted from your computer system. We do not give or endorse any opinions, conclusions and other information in this message that do not relate to our official business. [Non-text portions of this message have been removed] ** MABINDO - Forum Diskusi Masyarakat Buddhis Indonesia ** ** Kunjungi juga website global Mabindo di http://www.mabindo.org ** Yahoo! Groups Links <*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MABINDO/ <*> To unsubscribe from this group, send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] <*> Your use of Yahoo! Groups is subject to: http://docs.yahoo.com/info/terms/
