Not my words
>If Bud Abbott and Lou Costello were alive today Bud Abbott
>and Lou Costello's infamous sketch "Who's on first?" might
>have turned out something like this:
>
>COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT
>
>ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>
>COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm
>thinking about buying a computer.
>
>ABBOTT: Mac?
>
>COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
>
>ABBOTT: Your computer?
>
>COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
>
>ABBOTT: Mac?
>
>COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
>
>ABBOTT: What about Windows?
>
>COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
>
>ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
>
>COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
>
>ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
>
>COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
>
>ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
>
>COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write
>proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
>
>ABBOTT: Office.
>
>COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
>
>ABBOTT: I just did.
>
>COSTELLO: You just did what?
>
>ABBOTT: Recommend something.
>
>COSTELLO: You recommended something?
>
>ABBOTT: Yes.
>
>COSTELLO: For my office?
>
>ABBOTT: Yes.
>
>COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
>
>ABBOTT: Office.
>
>COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
>
>ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
>
>COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, lets just say
>I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal.
>What do I need?
>
>ABBOTT: Word.
>
>COSTELLO: What word?
>
>ABBOTT: Word in Office.
>
>COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
>
>ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>
>COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
>
>ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
>
>COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with
>some straight answers. OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the
>Internet?
>
>ABBOTT: Yes, you want Real One.
>
>COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
>your business. Just tell me what I
>need!
>
>ABBOTT: Real One.
>
>COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 &4. Can
>I watch them?
>
>ABBOTT: Of course.
>
>COSTELLO: Great! With what?
>
>ABBOTT: Real One.
>
>COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I do?
>
>ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
>
>COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
>
>ABBOTT: The blue "1".
>
>COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue w?
>
>ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
>
>COSTELLO: What word?
>
>ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
>
>COSTELLO: But there's three words in "office for windows"!
>
>ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
>
>COSTELLO: It is?
>
>ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
>pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
>
>COSTELLO: And that word is real one?
>
>ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even
>part of Office.
>
>COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
>bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
>
>ABBOTT: Money.
>
>COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
>
>ABBOTT: Money.
>
>COSTELLO: I need! money to track my money?
>
>ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
>
>COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
>
>ABBOTT: Money.
>
>COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
>
>ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
>
>COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
>
>ABBOTT: One copy.
>
>COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
>
>ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
>
>COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
>
>ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!
>
>A FEW DAYS LATER . .
>
>ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
>
>COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
>
>ABBOTT: Click on "START"......
--
Nelson Helm
-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-.-_-
We moved
to: 4112 Massie Avenue #3
Louisville KY 40207-2179
from: 555 Sunnyside Dr. 40206
telefone still 502-897-3870
_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/
| The next meeting of the Louisville Computer Society will
| be January 25. The LCS Web page is <http://www.kymac.org>.
| List posting address: <mailto:macgroup at erdos.math.louisville.edu>
| List Web page: <http://erdos.math.louisville.edu/macgroup>
