I don't know, guys. I've been participating in these lists for quite a while too and it's seems to be getting tougher, rather than easier, to communicate. There's always someone who's going to make the worst possible interpretation of anything you say, and so far as I can tell, you can't say _anything_ worth the effort without wounding _someone_ right in their sensibility.
Any joke you may tell is bound to offend someone, even when you're the butt of the joke! Any 64 word paragraph that's not exactly in the middle of the subject matter, including probably this one, is going to be interpreted by someone to be such a waste of time that they have to withdraw from the list. Somehow I'm reminded of Victorian ladies, fainting on the couch. Apparently the use of the delete button is so painful. And any opinion, if it's held strongly and not prefaced with an apology to the delicate, is enough to start an epidemic of the vapors. I wonder how some of these people manage the affront of being looked at as they stand in a grocery market check-out line. If I say something that has a _reasonable_ interpretation which I didn't appreciate, and that interpretation is _plausibly_ offensive to an adult, my apologies are quick and sincere. I hate to offend by accident. But if I offend someone without meaning to, and without saying something that I think is reasonably interpreted as offensive, I'll try to just divert it or state my regret that they are offended and hope that they feel better soon. Condescending? Sure. Whining offends me. So I think I'll stick with the old fashioned approach of saying what I think is true and then, when I'm wrong, making a correction and expressing my regret for the error. I'm too old and it's all too confusing for me to do otherwise. And believe it or not, that used to be the normal, adult standard of behavior. Now-a-days it seems to me that the kids are being trained to consider how other people will feeeel about something in preference to the truth of the matter. (And at this point you might speculate that I'm moved to think several thoughts about how Clinton was twice elected, but I won't expand on that. You're welcome.) I have a Great-Aunt who celebrated her 100th birthday last weekend. I would quote her response to this sort of situation, but that would really be offensive. Rather than not suffering fools gladly, she's progressed into hunting mode. It's probably good that she's not permitted email at the nursing home. Bill Holt ---------- >From: Bill Rising <brising at Louisville.edu> >To: "MacUser Group" <macgroup at erdos.math.louisville.edu> >Subject: Re: MacGroup: Careless Dialogue >Date: Wed, Mar 26, 2003, 4:50 PM > > > > On 3/26/03 15:32, Lee Larson wrote > >>On Wednesday, March 26, 2003, at 01:03 PM, Ronald Broadwater wrote: >> >>> I am not familiar with internet discussions other than this group. I am >>> amazed at the carelessness of the dialogue. I could never talk with an >>> acquaintance with the tone and egging on that has occurred here. It >>> has the emotion of a prelude to a fist fight. >> >>One thing I've learned is that you have to choose your words very >>carefully in e-mail -- much more carefully than in face-to-face >>conversation -- because a friendly face takes a lot of the sting off >>strong language. It's very easy to rub someone the wrong way with >>e-mail, and it happens for the strangest reasons. For example, I enjoy >>having fun with words, but several people have written me off-list >>saying things like "I don't want to go to a thesaurus everytime and >>look up the meaning of a word." or "Why do you rub your education in >>our faces by showing off your vocabulary?" >> > > Like Lee sez, it actually is possible to offend someone via email even > when trying to be friendly. Here's something that happened to me: > > A student in a distance education computer class asked how to copy a > formula from a cell in a spreadsheet and paste it into another document, > since simply copying and pasting would paste the value rather than the > formula. I wanted to say "read the homework problem, it tells you the > explicit steps right there", but I tried to be nice, and approach it the > way that I would if he were sitting in my office, and said "Here's a > hint: how would you copy and paste between two word processing documents?" > > His response: "Here's a hint: I don't like your attitude." > > Pretty odd, but it sure made me be really careful about choosing words in > emails. > > Bill > > > | The next meeting of the Louisville Computer Society will > | be March 25. The LCS Web page is <http://www.kymac.org>. > | The next meeting of the Louisville Computer Society will | be March 25. The LCS Web page is <http://www.kymac.org>.
