I'll admit I was originally debating whether to get out of bed at all today. That changed when a note from my scheduling assistant reminded me today was the debut of Apple’s newest wristwatch. In the yacht’s leisure room, I perused my collection of rare old antiques from Rolex. As I certainly couldn’t bear the shame of being seen in public without a standard timepiece, I considered my choice with care. I chose to dress down, as I'd be among the city folk today. A classic Rolex Explorer from 1956 was chosen for it’s ambiance befitting the common man and it’s sporty good looks.
Taking the elevator from my living quarters to the helicopter deck, I could hardly contain my anticipation. After a short flight, we landed, and my driver was waiting on the tarmac with the Bentley. I made haste, and reclined into the hand-stitched, subtly cream-colored Herman Oak leather seating of the Bentley. (I’m told the city people mostly confine themselves to Bentleys and I shouldn’t wish to cause a stir with the Rolls Phantom, even though it is ever so much more comfortable.) Finally, after what seemed an eternity of caviar and Belgian hors d’ oeuvres, lightly touched with Grey Poupon, I arrived at the Apple store. I was aghast at the mob of shabbily-dressed people queueing near the door! Luckily my travel liaison had anticipated my arrival, and she was waiting to give me my very own Apple watch. And wouldn’t you know, they’re quite a steal at only ten thousand dollars. Of course, the bronze-tinted platinum Milanese loop band adds several thousand more to the price, but I'm never one to quibble over such insignificant details. Now I’ve heard tell of people saying they’re quite a bit more after “tax”, but I tell you I’ve no idea what they’re talking about. One of my accountants assured me when I was young that this “tax” thing has no effect on people like me. He told me that “tax” is the penalty you pay for being poor.
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