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Subject: Fw: AGING by
George Carlin
I guess we can
all relate to this one...
Aging
by
George Carlin
Do you realize the only time in our lives when we
like to get old is when we're kids?
If you're less than 10 years old,
you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?"
I'm four and a half!"
You're never
thirty-six and a half.
You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold
you back.
You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
"How old are you?"
"I'm gonna be 16!"
You could be 13,
but hey, you are going to be 16.
And then the greatest day of your
life...you become 21.
Even the words sound like a ceremony...
YOU
BECOME 21
YESSSS!!!
But
then you turn 30
.
Oooohh, what happened
there?
Makes you sound like bad milk.
He
TURNED
, we had to throw him out.
There's no fun now, you're just a
sour-dumpling.
What's wrong?
What's changed?
You
BECOME 21, you TURN 30...
then you're PUSHING
40
.
Whoa!
Put
on the brakes,
It's all slipping away!!!
Before you know it,
you REACH
50
...
and your dreams are gone.
But wait,
you
MAKE
IT to 60
You
didn't think you would!
So you:
BECOME
21
TURN 30
PUSH 40
REACH 50
and
MAKE
IT to 60.
You've
built up so much speed that you...
HIT
70!
After
that it's a day-by-day thing;
You HIT Wednesday!
You
get into your 80s and every day is a complete
cycle:
You
HIT lunch
You TURN 4:30
You REACH bedtime.
My grandmother
won't even buy green bananas!
It's an investment, you know, and maybe
a bad one!!
And it doesn't end there...
Into the 90s, you
start going backwards:
"I
was JUST 92."
Then
a strange thing happens.
If you make it over 100, you become a
little kid again.
"I'm 100 and
a half!"
May
you all make it (healthily) to 100 and a half!
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