----- Original Message -----
Sent: Tuesday, August 27, 2002 11:43 PM
Subject: God's Children
To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our
own,
grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students -- here is something to
make
you chuckle.
Whenever your children are out of control, you can
take comfort from the
thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to
His own children.
After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and
Eve. And the first
thing he said was "DON'T!"
"Don't what?" Adam
replied.
"Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
"Forbidden
fruit?
We have forbidden fruit?
Hey Eve, we have forbidden fruit!"
"No
Way!"
"Yes Way!"
"Do NOT eat the fruit!", said God.
"Why?"
"Because
I am your Father and I said so!", God replied, wondering why He
hadn't
stopped creation after making the elephants.
A few minutes later, God saw His
children having an apple break and He
was ticked!
"Didn't I tell you not
to eat the fruit?", God asked.
"Uh, huh," Adam replied.
"Then why did
you?", said the Father.
"I don't know," said Eve.
"She started it!", Adam
said
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"DID NOT!"
Having had it with the two of
them, God's punishment was that Adam and
Eve should have children of their
own.
Thus, the pattern was set and it has never changed.
BUT THERE IS
REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
If you have persistently and lovingly tried to
give children wisdom and
they haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If
God had trouble
raising children, what makes you think it would be a piece of
cake for
you?
THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
1. You spend the first two
years of their life teaching them to walk and
talk. Then, you spend the next
sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
up.
2. Grandchildren are God's
reward for not killing your own children.
3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.
4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they
usually repeat word for
word what you shouldn't have said.
5. The main
purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
that there are
children more awful than your own.
6. We child proofed our homes, but they
are still getting in.
ADVICE FOR THE DAY!
Be nice to your kids. They
will choose your nursing home.
AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE, DO
WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
"TAKE TWO
ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
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