These are just tooo funny.....Mrina ----- Original Message ----- From: Lynne Graham <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: Dagmar M. Mikkila <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Friday, November 29, 2002 11:40 AM Subject: Fw: groaners :-)
> > > Two peanuts walk into a bar One was a salted. > > ------------------------------------------------ > > A jumper cable walks into a bar. The barman says "I'll serve you, but > > don't > > start anything." > > ----------------------------------------------- > > A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, "Sorry we don't serve food > > in > > here." > > ----------------------------------------------- > > A dyslexic man walks into a bra. > > ---------------------------------------------- > > A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A > > beer please, and one for the road." > > ------------------------------------------------ > > Two aerials meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony > > wasn't much but the reception was brilliant. > > ----------------------------------------------- > > Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste > > funny to you?" > > ----------------------------------------------- > > Man with a strawberry stuck up his bum goes to the doc. Doc says "I'll > > give > > you some cream to put on it." > > ----------------------------------------------- > > "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The green, green grass of home'." "That sounds > > > > like Tom Jones syndrome." "Is it common?" "It's not unusual." > > ------------------------------------------------ > > Two cows standing next to each other in a field, Daisy says to Dolly "I > > was > > artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," said Dolly. > > > > "It's true, no bull!" > > ----------------------------------------------- > > A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Glad Wrap shorts. The > > shrink > > says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts." > > ----------------------------------------------- > > Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, "I've lost my electron." The > > > > other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive..." > > ----------------------------------------------- > > Answer-phone message "....If you want to buy marijuana, press the hash > > key...." > > ----------------------------------------------- > > A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, "My dog's cross-eyed, is > > there anything you can do for him? " "Well," says the vet, "let's have a > > look at him." So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks > > his > > teeth. Finally, he says "I'm going to have to put him down." "What? > > Because > > he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy." > > ----------------------------------------------- > > Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 > > people > > in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my > > dad......or maybe my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother > > Ho-Cha-Chu. > > But I'm pretty sure it's Colin. > > ----------------------------------------------- > > I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find > > any. > > ----------------------------------------------- > > I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he > > couldn't > > reach the meat off the top shelf. And he said, 'no, the steaks are too > > high.' > > ---------------------------------------------- > > My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. He was pulled in by a strong > > currant. > > ----------------------------------------------- > > A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He > > shouted,"Doctor, > > doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, > > I've > > cut your arms off". > > ------------------------------------------------------- > > > > Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with > > hundreds and thousands (sprinkles). Police say that he topped himself. > > ----------------------------------------------- > > Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says "dam". > > > > > > > This information is directed in confidence solely to the person named above > and may not otherwise be distributed, copied or disclosed. Therefore, this > information should be considered strictly confidential. If you have > received this email in error, please notify the sender immediately via a > return email for further direction. Thank you for your assistance. > > > > > >
