>
>...why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
>
>...why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
>
>...why you don't ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
>
>...why "abbreviated" is such a long word?
>
>...why doctors call what they do "practice"?
>
>...why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98?
>
>...why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while
dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?
>
>...why the man who invests all your money is called a broker?
>
>...why there isn't mouse-flavored cat food?
>
>...who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor?
>
>...why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?
>
>...why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
>
>...why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used
for the indestructible black box ?
>
>...why sheep don't shrink when it rains?
>
>...why they are called apartments when they are all stuck
together?
>
>...if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of
progress?
>
>...why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe?
>
>AND...
>
>In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed
because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
>
>On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (darn, and
that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
>
>On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)
>
>On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and
that would be how???....)
>
>On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
>
>On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn
upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after
heating." (...and you thought????...)
>
>On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time?)
>
>On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:"Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate
of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds
off those forklifts.)
>
>On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm
taking this because???....)
>
>On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use
only." (as opposed to...what?)
>
>On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
>
>On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a
news flash!)
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open
packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
>
>I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one: On a
child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
>
>
>
>On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your
hands or genitals."
>(...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
>
>Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread
the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even
a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once
in a while.
>
