----- Original Message ----- From: "Eleanor Pelletier" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Monday, March 17, 2003 2:37 PM Subject: FW: Happy St. Paddy's Day
> > > Subject: Fw: Happy St. Paddy's Day > > > > > Keeping in the spirit.... > > > > For the Irish (and not-so-Irish) among ye' (or whatever) > > > > Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run > > over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face > > is cut and bruised, and he's walking with a limp "What happened to > > you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jim'e O'Conner and me had a fight," > > says Paddy. "That little shit, O'Conner?" says Sean. "He couldn't do > > that to you; he must have had something in his hand." > > "That he did," says Paddy. "a shovel is what he had, and a > > terrible lickin' he gave me with it." > > "Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself. Didn't > > you have something in your hand?" > > "That I did," said Paddy. "Mrs. O'Conner's breast, and a thing > > of beauty it was, but useless in a fight." > > > > > > > > An Irishman who had a little too much to drink is driving home from > > the city one night and, of course, his car is weaving violently all > > over the road. A cop pulls him over. "So," says the cop to the driver, > > "where have ya been?" "Why, I've been to the pub of course," slurs the > > drunk. "Well," says the cop, "it looks like you've had quite a few to > > drink this evening." > > "I did all right," the drunk says with a smile. > > "Did you know," says the cop, standing straight and folding his > > arms across his chest, "that a few intersections back, your wife fell > > out > > of your car?" > > "Oh, thank heavens," sighs the drunk. "For a minute there, I > > thought I'd gone deaf." > > > > > > > > Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning > > service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, Mary > > my dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband > > passed Away last night." > > The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did > > he have any last requests?" > > She says, "That he did, Father." > > The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?" > > She says, "He said, 'Please Mary, put down that damn gun.'" > > > > > > A drunk staggers into a Catholic Church, enters a confessional booth, > > sits down, but says nothing. The Priest cough a few times to get his > > attention but the drunk just sits there. > > Finally, the Priest pounds three times on the wall. > > The drunk mumbles, "Ain't no use knockin. There's no paper on > > this side either." > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >
