chuckle of the day......some may have seen before, but good.
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This is from Mark McEachern.........funny, funny.
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Sent: Friday, June 27, 2003 3:29 PM
Subject: Remember, your breath can be offensive!
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART
I
What do you call two Mexicans playing
basketball?
Juan on
Juan.
What is a
Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it
alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a
Hoover?
The position of the dirt
bag.
Why is divorce so
expensive?
Because it's worth
it.
What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends
over?
Doughnuts.
Why is air a lot like
sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting
any.
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE PART II (JUST WARMING
UP!)
What do you call a smart
blonde?
A golden
retriever.
What do attorneys use for birth
control?
Their
personalities.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and
wife?
45
lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and
husband?
45
minutes.
What's the fastest way to a man's
heart?
Through his chest with a sharp
knife.
Why do men want to marry
virgins?
They can't stand
criticism.
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive,
caring,
and
good-looking?
Because those men already have
boyfriends.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new
dog?
After a year,the dog is still excited to see
you.
What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention
of
driving.
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have
sex?
Because they have cotton
balls.
What's the difference between a porcupine and
BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the
outside.
What did the blonde say when she found out she was
pregnant?
"Are you sure it's
mine?"
Why does Mike Tyson cry during
sex?
Mace will do that to
you.
Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West
Virginia?
Everyone has the same
DNA.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye
contact?
Breasts don't have
eyes.
Did you hear about the dyslexic
Rabbi?
He walks around saying
"Yo."
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the
car only
on Mondays, Wednesdays and
Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses
it.
SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE, PART III (Just Great
Stuff)
Where does an Irish family go on
vacation?
A different
bar.
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded
baby?
They named him "Sum Ting
Wong"
What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than
the
other?
A speech
impediment.
What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying
at
half-mast?
They're
hiring.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern
zoo?
A southern
zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage
along with... "a
recipe".
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F
word?
Get another
sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell
*BINGO*!
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a
southern
fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A
southern
fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this
shit..."
Why is there no Disneyland in
China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good
rides.
Have a good day!!!
And please hit that guy in the BMW for
me.
Thanks
Mark
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