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Answering Machine
Actual Answering Machine Messages Recorded and Verified By The
World
Famous International Institute of Answering Machine Messages:
10. My wife and I can't come to the phone right now, but if you'll
leave your name and number,
we'll get back to you as soon as we're finished.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine. I am capable of receiving
messages.
My owners do not need siding, windows or a hot tub, and their
carpets are clean.
They give to charity at the office and don't need their picture
taken. If you're still
with me, leave your name and home phone number and they will get back to you.
8. This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After
the tone, think about your name, your number, and your reason for calling... and I'll think about
returning your call.
7. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his
refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself
with one of these magnets.
6. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent
the money. If you are my
parents, please send money. If you are my bank, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my
friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS of
money.
5. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
we're not here. So, leave a
message.
4. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon. If you leave
a "sexy" message, I'll
call sooner.
3. Hi. Now YOU say something.
2. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't
like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
And the Number 1 Actual Answering Machine Message Recorded and
Verified by
The World Famous International Institute of Answering Machine
Messages:
1. Hello, you've reached Jim and Sonya. We can't pick up the phone
right
now, because we're doing something we really enjoy. Sonya likes
doing it up and down,
and I like doing it left to right... real slowly. So leave a
message, and when we're done
brushing our teeth, we'll call you back.
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