I am Canadian is actually a
commercial and is all true!)
Hey...
I'm
not a lumberjack, or a fur trader...
and I
don't live in an igloo, or eat blubber, or own a dogsled...
and I
don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although
I'm certain they're really, really nice.
I have a
Prime Minister, not a President.
I speak
English & French, NOT American.
and I
pronounce it 'ABOUT', NOT 'A BOOT'.
I can
proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack.
I believe
in peace keeping, NOT policing.
DIVERSITY,
NOT assimilation,
AND THAT
THE BEAVER IS A TRULY PROUD AND NOBLE
ANIMAL.
A TOQUE IS A HAT, A
CHESTERFIELD IS A
COUCH,
AND IT IS PRONOUNCED 'ZED' NOT 'ZEE', 'ZED'!!!
CANADA IS THE
SECOND LARGEST LANDMASS!
THE FIRST NATION OF HOCKEY! AND THE BEST
PART OF NORTH
AMERICA!
MY NAME IS
JOE!! AND I AM CANADIAN!!!!!!!!
I
AM ITALIAN
Ciao...
I'm
not a construction worker, a brick layer or a school janitor.
I
don't live in a basement, or eat pasta every night.
And I
don't drive a Camaro.
And I
don't know Tony, Rocco or Gino from Woodbridge,
Although
I'm certain they're very, very hairy
people.
I drink wine...not
beer. I don't use utensils for pizza.
I
believe in open bars at weddings, not cash.
And its
pronounced ESPRESSO, not EX-PRESSO.
I can
proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during the worldcup.
Gelato
IS ice cream, Biscotti ARE cookies,
Antonio
Columbro IS the best of the tenors,
And it's
Broo-SKetta, not Broo-SHetta!!
Italy is the
ONLY country shaped like footwear,
The
FIRST nation of soccer, And the BEST part of Europe!!
My name
is Guiseppe !!!
AND I AM
ITALIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I
AM PAKISTANI
Allo,
I'm not a cab driver, a
7-11 clerk or a gas attendant.
I
don't go to fleamarkets, or worshipelephants, or eat with my hands.
And
I don't know Akbar, Rampreet or Mohammed from Rundle,
Although
I'm certain they're very smelly
people.
I eat roti....not pita. I
don't only shower once a week,
I
believe in discounts, not full price.
And
I pronounce it WHAT, not VHAT.
I
can proudly fly my country's flag out of my car during a terrorist
siege.
A
turban IS an article of clothing.
Spicy
foods ARE better than mild foods
Curry
is a VERY tasty dish,
and
it IS pronounced Gaun-dee,not Gun-dee
,GAUN-dee!!
Pakistan IS a third world
country,
The
first nation of Cricket
And the
BEST part of the middle east!!
My
name is Raheem!
AND
I AM PAKISTANI!!!!
I
AM CHINESE!
Wai...
I'm
not a cook, or a computer tech, or the owner of a laundromat.
I
don't live with my parents, I don't eat dog. I don't drive a
souped-up Civic.
And
I don't know Ping,
Ching or Wing from Beddingt
Heights
Although
I'm certain they're very rice... I mean nice
people.
I
use chopsticks, not a fork. I rarely drive on the
sidewalk.
I
believe in giving cash, not gifts
And
I pronounce it HELLO, not HARRO.
I
can proudly wave my country's flag at a tank during a massacre,
Dim
sum IS brunch, Gwai-Los ARE white folk
Jet
Li can kick Van Damme's ass anyday.
And
it IS pronounced Gon Hay Fa Choi, not Gon HEE
Fa
China
is the LARGEST country in Asia
The
FIRST nation of PING-PONG,
And
the BEST remaining COMMUNIST COUNTRY!!
My
name is FUNG!!!
AND
I AM CHINESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and
finally........
I
AM AMERICAN
Wassup...
I'm not
particularly intelligent, open-minded, or well-liked.
And
I don't live in a safe place, eat a balanced diet, or drive
very well.
I
don't know Shakespeare, Da Vinci
or Gutenberg,
although
I'm pretty sure they were
American.
I drink beer,
not water, I am outspoken, not opinionated,
Guns
settle disputes, not discussions.
Winning
isn't everything, it's the ONLY thing,
And
it's pronounced RUFF, not
ROOF.
I can proudly sew
my country's flag on my backpack, unless I
go somewhere.
Burger
King IS fine dining. Washing after peeing is for LOSERS,
Twinkies
and Moon Pies ARE GOOD for breakfast,
I
have a SHED, NOT a GARAGE, and WWF ACTION IS
REAL!
The
UNITED
STATES OF AMERICA
is the ONLY country in the world,
The
FIRST nation of IGNORANCE,
And
the BEST part of SOUTH
AMERICA!!
MY
NAME IS JIM-BOB, I am married to my sister,
AND
I AM MERICAN!!!!!!!
