-- -Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana. Stranger things have - -happened but none stranger than this. Does your driver's license say Organ -Donor?Black holes are where God divided by zero. Listen to me! We are all- -individuals! What if this weren't a hypothetical question? [EMAIL PROTECTED] From: "Gleason, Kristy" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Subject: Tales of Blood-Curdling Terror From: Robot Karate Man <[EMAIL PROTECTED] <mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]>> > YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO > CONTINUE? Yes. > ARE YOU REALLY SURE? Yes. > ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE? YES! > OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL > YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI- > TRUST" NONSENSE. INGRATE. Just get on with it. > ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR > COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS. Groan. > THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT > LET YOU INSTALL XP. Problems? What problems? > THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE > MOTHERBOARD. But I'm using it at this very moment. > THAT IS IRRELEVANT. But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't very well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasn't... > DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT. LOGIC > DOES NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS: > WINDOWS XP IS INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR, > KEYBOARD, MEMORY CHIPS, MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, > USB CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE, MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK. All that? > YES. AND THE HARDDRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER. Well what *DOES* work? > THE MOUSE. The mouse? > YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE. I don't have a 5 1/4 drive. > YES YOU DO. No I don't. > WHAT'S THAT THEN? It's a 3 1/2 drive. > NO IT ISN'T. Yes it is. > YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW. Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the latest drivers for everything later? Please? > WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM? Well it is mine. > NO IT ISN'T. It bloody well is. > NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE BOX. OUR SYSTEM. > IT'S OURS. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4 CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE > MONEY. But why? > BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDJIT. WE CAN'T VERY WELL HAVE > PEOPLE PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE ON THEIR SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY > PIGGLEDY, NOW COULD WE? YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN > WHERE WOULD WE BE? I'LL TELL YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S WHERE. I... HEY, > WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH > THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON > THAT DISK. IS THAT LINUX? YOU'RE INSTALLING LINUX?? WHY WOULD YOU > INSTALL LINUX WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE POWE.......... [ To unsubscribe, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with body "unsubscribe man-bytes-dog" (the subject is ignored).]
