-- -Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana. Stranger things have - -happened but none stranger than this. Does your driver's license say Organ -Donor?Black holes are where God divided by zero. Listen to me! We are all- -individuals! What if this weren't a hypothetical question? [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Date: Mon, 28 Oct 2002 07:48:19 -0800 (PST) From: Andy and Carolyn Limeri <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Subject: Re: [mbd] High Court Hang-Ups (fwd) Here's the follow up story to this: There's no place like a hotel 'Hotels like to have a touch of class. They like to give their guests high-class wood hangers. It makes them feel good about themselves' Miles Kington 16 October 2002 Yesterday I brought you part of an extraordinary High Court case in which Mr Arnold Chrysler stands accused of stealing thousands of hotel clothes hangers. His defence is that he manufactures wardrobes that can only take hotel clothes hangers, and he can only get hotel hangers from hotels. As a service to any of us who have ever taken anything home from a hotel, I bring you a further extract from this trial today. Counsel: Now, Mr Chrysler, am I right in saying that hotel clothes hangers do not have hooks on top but little studs that will only work on special racks? Chrysler: That is correct. Counsel: This design arose because so many hotel hangers were Chrysler: That is correct. Counsel: And they had no option but to change the design to stop them being stolen? Chrysler: That is not correct. Counsel: That is not correct? Chrysler: No. The world of hotels had not one, but two options. They could change the design of the way they were hung, yes, but they could also cheapen the hangers. They could very easily have given guests inexpensive plastic or metal hangers they would never have missed when they were stolen. But that would have lowered the tone of the hotel. Hotels, even hotels in a chain, like to have a touch of class. They like giving guests high-class solid wood hangers. It makes them feel good about themselves. It also makes them worth stealing. Counsel: And people come to you, do they, asking you to make special wardrobes so that they can use stolen clothes hangers? Chrysler: It isn't so much the fact that they are stolen that makes them attractive. You have to remember that many top businessmen spend more of their time in hotels than in their own home. They become used to hotel life. They think of hotels as home. Therefore they become used to hotel hangers and think of them as normal, and on the rare occasions when they spend some time at home they can't stand these fiddly things with hooks which you and I may think of as normal but which the business traveller thinks of as loose-fitting and badly designed. So they come to me and get me to make a hotel-style wardrobe. Counsel: Are you seriously suggesting that there are people who prefer hotel life to home life? Chrysler: Certainly. A lot of businessmen would never go home if they had the chance. So when they get home they like to recreate the hotel experience in their own house. Many of my clients have their own mini-bars in their bedrooms. They have TV sets at the end of the bed on a raised shelf, often with an adult sex channel on it. All their bathroom products come in wrappers and are thrown away each day. I have even known people in their own home put out "Do Not Disturb" notices on the door of their own bedroom. Counsel: Stolen, presumably, from some hapless hotel. Chrysler: Never call a hotel hapless. They know what they are doing. No hotel loses money willingly. They may have things taken from them, but the stuff that guests leave behind is just as valuable. Counsel: Are you serious when you say that clients of yours drink from their own minibars in their own bedrooms in their own homes? Chrysler: Certainly. And just as in a hotel, they grumble about the price and size of the bottles, and the absence of ice. Counsel: So why don't they get a proper fridge in their bedroom? Chrysler : Because then it wouldn't be like a hotel. Judge: Tell me, Mr Chrysler, do these businessmen of yours also have Gideon Bibles by their bedside at home? Chrysler: Many of them, sir. Judge: And where do you get the Gideon Bibles from? Chrysler: Alas, they, too, have to be taken from hotels. Judge: Then why are you not also up on a charge of Bible-stealing? Chrysler: Because the Bibles do not belong to the hotels. They belong to the Gideon Society. And the Gideon Society has decided not to prosecute me, but to forgive me and tell me to go and sin no more. Judge: And have you sinned no more? Chrysler: Alas, no. This case continues, though not in this column. Those who are interested in a hotel ambiance for your home should contact Arthur Chrysler's World of Hotel Decor To unsubscribe, send email to [EMAIL PROTECTED] with body "unsubscribe man-bytes-dog" (the subject is ignored).
