--
-Time flies like the wind. Fruit flies like a banana. Stranger things have -
-happened but none stranger than this. Does your driver's license say Organ
-Donor?Black holes are where God divided by zero. Listen to me! We are all-
-individuals! What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
steveo at syslang.net
February 19, 2003
Excerpts from today's list:
The Top 15 Differences Under President Michael Jackson
15> All press conferences are held in the Nose Garden.
14> No more federal funding for NASA until they bring back
moonwalking missions.
13> Instead of the 50 individual states, a series of commemorative
quarters features Michael's old noses.
12> Out: War on Terror
In: War on Clumpy Mascara
11> It's no longer the White House, it's now the "Black House
with vitiligo."
10> More headlines like "President to North Korea: 'Wanna Be
Startin' Somethin'?'"
9> New cabinet position created: Plastic Surgeon General
8> Constant updates require a team of sculptors working 24/7
on the official presidential bust.
7> The Lincoln Bedroom becomes the Lincoln Bunkroom.
6> Reading glasses keep slipping off his face during the State
of the Union speech.
5> No difference whatsoever -- those rich white guys are all
alike.
4> Even more crotch-grabbing in the Oval Office than during
the Clinton administration.
3> "Today, the Department of Homeland Security upgraded the
terror threat level from eggshell to beige."
2> Vice President Webster is only a heartbeat away from becoming
the first black president.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Difference
Under President Michael Jackson...
1> "Seriously, I *did* have sexual relations with that woman.
I swear. Stop laughing!"
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