1. Under The Table

A man and an attractive woman were having a candlelit dinner at a fine
restaurant when the waiter noticed the man slowly sliding out of his chair
and under the table. The woman seemed not to notice as her companion
disappeared out of sight. "Pardon me, ma'am," the waiter said, "but I think
your husband is under the table." "No, he isn't," the woman said, eyeing the
waiter calmly. "My husband just walked through the door."

2. Good Horse Sense

A guy is sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife sneaks up behind
him and whacks him on the head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" he asks.
"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Marylou
written on it," she replies.
"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Marylou was the name of one of the
horses I bet on," he explains.
She looks satisfied, apologizes, and goes off to do work around the house.
Three days later he's again sitting in his chair reading when she nails him
with an even bigger frying pan, knocking him out cold.
When he comes to, he asks, "What the heck was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse just phoned."

atr/dmp.



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