>> >> > > Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair >> >> > > that some men should be happier than others. >> >> > > ------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper. >> >> > > -------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for >> >> > > two years. >> >> > > -------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > Bachelors know more about women than married men; >> >> > > if they didn't, they'd be married too. >> >> > > -------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > Men have a better time than women; for one thing, >> >> > > they marry later; for another thing, they die >> >> > > earlier. >> >> > > -------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > Marriage is a three ring circus: >> >> > > --engagement ring >> >> > > --wedding ring >> >> > > --suffering >> >> > > -------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows >> >> > > why. >> >> > > When a ten-year married couple smiles,everyone >> >> > > wonders why. >> >> > > -------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener. >> >> > > -------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, >> >> > > you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new >> >> > > or the wife. >> >> > > -------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our >> >> > > anniversary?" >> >> > > She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I told >> >> > > her, "How about the kitchen?" >> >> > > --------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops. >> >> > > --------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I >> >> > > too late for the garbage?" Following her down >> >> > > the street I yelled, "No, jump in!" >> >> > > --------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > Badd Teddy recently explained to me why he refuses >> >> > > to ever get married. He says "the wedding rings look >> >> > > too much like minature handcuffs....." >> >> > > --------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > If your dog is barking at the back door and your >> >> > > wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let >> >> > > in first? The Dog of course...at least he'll shut >> >> > > up after you let him in! >> >> > > ------------------------------------------------- >> >> > > Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he >> >> > > loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent. >
