Really Tasty Foods for Good Snackin' . .
.
And I thought nothing could top Hormel's
pickled eggs ...
8. Meeter's Kraut Juice (Stokely USA):
Yes, that's sauerkraut juice,
which is even worse than it sounds. The
taste and smell can be a bit,
well, harsh, but KJ is reputed by its
fans to have certain medicinal
benefits (as a source of vitamin C, cure
for intestinal bugs, etc.),
which adds up to a classic case of the
cure being worse than the
disease.
7. Guycan Corned Mutton with Juices
Added (Bedessee Imports): The
best thing about this Uruguayan canned
good is the very pouty-looking
sheep on the package label -- he seems
to be saying, "Go on, eat me
already." The second-best thing is the
presence of both "cooked
mutton" and "mutton" in the ingredients
listing, which would seem to
have all the mutton bases covered.
6. Armour Pork Brains in Milk Gravy
(Dial Corp.): If you're really
looking to clog up those arteries in a
hurry, you'll be pleased to
learn that a single serving of pork
brains has 1,170 percent of our
recommended daily cholesterol intake.
All the more ingenious, then,
that the label on this product helpfully
features a recipe for brains
and scrambled eggs.
5. Sweet Sue Canned Whole Chicken (Sweet
Sue Kitchens, Inc.): From
its size (think growth-impaired Cornish
hen) to its overall
appearance (it's stewed in a quivering
mass of aspic goop), this
product may change forever your idea of
what constitutes a chicken.
Gives new meaning to the old line about
meat "falling off the bone."
4. Musk Life Savers (Nestle
Confectionery): You may think musk is a
scent, but over in Australia, they think
it's a candy flavor. A
candy flavor that tastes disturbingly
like raw meat, to be precise.
But what did you expect from a country
where everyone happily
consumes Vegemite?
3. Blind Robins Smoked Ocean Herring
(recently discontinued by Bar
Food Products): Possibly the world's
most bizarre prepackaged tavern
snack. Interestingly, the product's
titular robin isn't actually
blind, he's blindfolded -- the better,
presumably, to avoid looking
at these heavily salted herring strips,
which look like giant slugs.
2. Kylmaenen Reindeer Pate` (Kylmaenen
Oy): This Finnish canned good
may not be particularly tasty, but at
least it answers the age-old
question of why Rudolph was so eager for
that safe, steady job on
Santa's sleigh team -- he didn't want to
end up as a cracker spread.
1. Tengu Clam Jerky (Tengu Co.): Nothing
you've ever consumed can
prepare you for the horror that is clam
jerky. Still, this product
does score a sort of conceptual coup: If
you're the sort who's always
found raw clams too slimy and gelatinous
for your taste, these dried,
shriveled mollusks will help you dislike
clams on a whole new level.
--
John H. Hoffmann
Personal
E-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
"I think that the team that wins game
five
will win the series. Unless we lose
game five."
-- Charles Barkley
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