I don't watch 'The Simpson's' but
from 'The Simpson's,' some Bart-isms
when Bart has to write on the chalkboard
during school.
Try applying some of these to your work
environment, your co-workers or a business
meeting/conversation you've been involved
in recently . . . you'll smile more.
I will not instigate revolution
I did not see Elvis
I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes"
Garlic gum is not funny
They are laughing at me, not with me
I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom
I will not encourage others to fly
I will not fake my way through life
Tar is not a play thing
I will not do that thing with my tongue
I WILL NOT CUT CORNERS
" " " " " "
" " " " " ")
I will not get very far with this attitude
I will not sell land in Florida
I will not grease the monkey bars
I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment
I will not do anything bad ever again
I will not sleep through my education
I am not a dentist
Spitwads are not free speech
Nobody likes sunburn slappers
I will finish what I star (
I will not torment the emotionally frail
I will not carve gods
I will not spank others
I will not aim for the head
I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty
I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge
Funny noises are not funny
This punishment is not boring and pointless
I will not teach others to fly
I will not bring sheep to class
I will not eat things for money
I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call
I will not call the principal "spud head"
Goldfish don't bounce
I will not sell miracle cures
I will return the seeing-eye dog
I do not have diplomatic immunity
The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy
I will not go near the kindergarten turtle
I am not deliciously saucy
Organ transplants are best left to the professionals
There are plenty of businesses like show business
I will not re-transmit without the express permission of Major
League Baseball
Beans are neither fruit nor musical
--
John H. Hoffmann
Personal
E-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
"After hearing two eyewitness accounts
of the same incident, you begin to
wonder about history."
-- Unknown
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