Dear Abby . . .
DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One
is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her
mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never
seen a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they
could be Lebanese?
CURIOUS
...I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much I'm not
even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.
...I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on the
pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend
should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to
discuss money with him.
...I suspected that my husband had been fooling around, and when I
confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it
would never happen again.
...Will you please rush me the name of a reliable illegitimate
doctor?
...Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was
raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?
...I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now how do I
get out?
...My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an hour
every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.
...I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank
until one night he came home sober.
...Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a little
gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he finally
did it.
I met this nice guy who was in the service. He's the chief petting
officer.
DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month.
I'd like to give him something nice for his birthday. What do you
think he'd like?
CAROL
DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.
DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his
wife had a ten pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature.
Tell me, can a baby this big be that early?
WONDERING
DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late.
DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at
the same time?
JAKE
DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.
DEAR ABBY: I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three
and he's still chasing women. Any suggestions?
ANNIE
DEAR ANNIE: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years,
but if he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.
DEAR ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced,
but I can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it. Any
suggestions?
SAM IN CAL.
DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.
DEAR ABBY: I am forty-four years old and I would like to meet a man
my age with no bad habits.
ROSE
DEAR ROSE: So would I.
--
John H. Hoffmann
Personal
E-mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
"How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg?
Four. Calling a tail a leg
doesn't make it a leg."
--Abraham Lincoln
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