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http://www.zcommunications.org/znet/viewArticle/23810
Kvetcher in the Rye
February 03, 2010 By Greg Palast

In the sixth grade, the Boys' Vice-Principal threatened to suspend 
me from school unless I stopped carrying around The Catcher in the 
Rye I think because it had the word "fuck" in it. Since the Boys' 
Vice-Principal hadn't read the book - and I don't think he'd ever 
read any book - he couldn't tell me why.

But Mrs. Gordon was cool. She let me keep the book at my desk and 
read it at recess as long as I kept a brown wrapper over the cover.

I think J.D. Salinger would have liked Mrs. Gordon. She wanted to 
save me from the world's vice-principals, the guys who wanted to 
train you in obedience to idiots and introduce you the adult world 
of fear and punishment. Mrs. Gordon wanted to protect the need of 
a child to run free.

That's, of course, how the word fuck got into Salinger's book. For 
the 5% of you who haven't read it, the main character of the book, 
Holden Caulfield, tries to erase the f-word off the wall of a New 
York City school. He doesn't want little kids like his sister 
Phoebe to see it, that somehow it would trigger an irreversible 
loss of her childhood innocence:



I thought Phoebe and all the other little kids would see it, and 
how they'd wonder what the hell it meant, and then finally some 
dirty kid would tell them—all cockeyed, naturally—what it meant, 
and how they'd all think about it and maybe even worry about it 
for a couple of days.



Which is where the title came from. Salinger's Caulfield, pushed 
to the edge of his own youth and directed to prepare himself for 
the job market, could see for himself only one career: as a 
catcher in the rye. He imagined a bunch of kids playing away 
happily in a rye field, but a field on a cliff's-edge. Every time 
a child, lost in their game, would drift toward the edge, 
Caulfield's job would be to catch them before they fell.

Any other job would just turn you into a "phony," that is, an 
adult. All adults were phonies, even the nice ones, who took jobs 
they hated, taught textbooks and catechisms they didn't believe 
and lived lives of self-inflicted disappointments, while 
pretending it was all OK. Then with phony grins, they'd demand 
that you join their painful parade of delusion and decay.

Nearly half a century after I covered up Salinger's book in a 
carefully folded brown wrapper, I thought I'd read it to my twins. 
They were now eleven, in the 6th grade.

But I couldn't. In his 1956 book, Salinger had railed against a 
post-war world of boys in school blazers trying to get to "first 
base" with their steady dates. America itself was an adolescent, 
and despite the police beatings of marchers in Alabama, despite 
the "drop, tuck and don't look at the flash!" drills we did weekly 
in Mrs. Gordon's class to prepare for the Russian nuclear attack, 
America was still weirdly, optimistically child-like.

We knew then that the world could only get better: we would go to 
the moon and eventually, vacation there. JFK announced the 
Alliance for Progress and poverty would end in Appalachia; and 
Paul McCartney wanted to hold our hand. Every nasty meanie, like 
the police in Selma, was met by a legion of victorious innocents 
led by Martin Luther King. So we all held hands in a circle while 
Pete Seeger strummed "We shall overcome." Everyone would get a 
scholarship; and we really, truly believed we would overcome.

Even the social critics - Allen Ginsberg, Lenny Bruce, Jack 
Kerouac - were just big, mischievous kids.

Yes, there were a bunch of old phonies like Joe McCarthy and the 
Boys' Vice-Principal, but their days were numbered.

Then we fell over the cliff.

A bullet through the skull replaced Kennedy with Nixon. We shall 
overcome was replaced with the vicious "Southern Strategy;" the 
Cold War exploded in hot jungles; then came the idiot wasteland of 
the regimes of Ford and Carter and Reagan and Clinton and Bushes, 
a degenerative march as the machine of America rusted and died.

And here we are today, begging for spare parts from China and my 
daughter glued to YouTube videos of Lady Ga-Ga's crotch, and my 
son slicing off a cop's head in Grand Theft Auto and a President, 
telegenic and painfully hollow, playing the lost and ineffectual 
shepherd over an electorate divided between the terrified and the 
greedy. In place of prophets, we are offered a caravan of 
kvetching clowns piling out of the Volkswagen on MSNBC.

There's no way to wipe the fuck off this smeared planet. I'm 
supposed to try. I'm an investigative reporter, meaning I have a 
professional commitment to the childish belief that if I shout 
loud enough, I can warn people away from the cliff's edge.

Well, it's better than a real job, but no less "phony," no less of 
a petty illusion.

I'm holding this book, the brown wrapper lost who the hell knows 
when, and I know it would just be laughable, inscrutably ancient 
to those wisened, worldly children of mine.

I've put it back on my shelf.

You stand on the cliff edge and there's no one left to catch.



Jerome David Salinger 1919-2010.

Greg Palast is the author of the New York Times bestsellers Armed 
Madhouse and The Best Democracy Money Can Buy, is a Nation 
Institute/Puffin Foundation Writing Fellow for investigative 
reporting. Sign up for Greg Palast's investigative reports at 
www.GregPalast.com.

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