Self-defense laws require an act of imagination. They ask judges and juries
to place themselves in someone else’s shoes and consider: What can we ask
of a person in this situation? They have failed abused women for so long
not only because the legal system has had trouble seeing the world through
female eyes but also because it particularly struggles to see the world
through the eyes of someone whose perceptions have been shaped by years,
sometimes decades, of brutality, a circumstance for which all of us bear
some responsibility. Perhaps this was understandable once; to lack this
capacity for imagination still, despite all we know today about intimate
partner violence and despite the willingness of so many women to share
their stories, feels like a deliberate choice.

For women like Ms. Ford, Ms. Ayobi and many others, killing their way out
of a relationship was an act of salvation — for themselves, for their
children. Among the most haunting statements from many women I’ve spoken
with was that they were sorry to be going to prison but that at least in
prison the violence against them would stop. It took hearing this multiple
times for me to fully take it in and to appreciate what it said about the
scale at which society failed these women long before they went to prison
and the depth of the injustice being perpetrated against them now.

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2024/09/04/opinion/women-kill-self-defense.html


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