sorry list but i had to send this on, its a classic. theres some explicit language used and i know from previous times some ppl dont like that because there kids read it so i guess im just warning you. but this is the funniest thing ive read so read on ppl. >>>> >>>> >>>> >>>>>>>>>FINALLY A CHAIN LETTER THAT I LIKE! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Hello, my name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and >>>>>>>>>deadly >>>>>>>>>diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme virginity, fear of >>>>>>>>>being >>>>>>>>>kidnapped and executed by anal electrocution, and guilt for not >>>>>>>>>forwarding >>>>>>>>>out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who >>>>>>>>>actually >>>>>>>>>believe that if you send them on, then that poor fucking 6 year old >>>>>>>>>girl in >>>>>>>>>Arkansas with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough >>>>>>>>>money to >>>>>>>>>have it removed before her redneck parents sell her off to the >>>>>>>>>traveling >>>>>>>>>freak show. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you and >>>>>>>>>Everyone you send his email to $1000? How stupid are you? Ooooh, >>>>>>>>>looky here! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every >>>>>>>>>Playboy Bunny in the magazine! What a bunch of fucking bullshit. So >>>>>>>>>basically, this message is a big FUCK YOU to all the people out >>>>>>>>>there who >>>>>>>>>have nothing better to do than to send me stupid chain mail >>>>>>>>>forwards. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my apartment >>>>>>>>>and >>>>>>>>>sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain which was >>>>>>>>>started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country by >>>>>>>>>midget >>>>>>>>>pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year 2000, >>>>>>>>>it'll be in >>>>>>>>>the Guinness Book of World Records for longest >>>>>>>>>continuous streak of blatant stupidity. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Fuck them! If you're going to forward something, at least send me >>>>>>>>>something >>>>>>>>>mildly fucking amusing. I've seen all the 'send this to 50 of your >>>>>>>>>closest >>>>>>>>>friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human >>>>>>>>>being will somehow receive a Nickel from some omniscient being >>>>>>>>>forwards >>>>>>>>>about 90 times. I don't fucking care. Show a little intelligence >>>>>>>>>and think >>>>>>>>>about what you're actually contributing to by sending out forwards. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Chances are it's your own unpopularity. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down) >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Make a wish!!! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Keep Scrolling >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>No, really, go on and make one!!! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Oh please, they'll never go out with >>>>>>>>>you!!! Wish something else!!! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Not that, you pervert!! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>STOP!!!! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Wasn't that fun? :) >>>>>>>>>Hope you made a great wish :) >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do. First of all, if >>>>>>>>>you >>>>>>>>>don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be >>>>>>>>>raped by a >>>>>>>>>mad goat and thrown off a high building into a pile of manure. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>It's true! Because, THIS letter isn't like those fake ones, THIS >>>>>>>>>one is >>>>>>>>>TRUE!! >>>>>>>>>Really!!! Here's how it goes: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>*Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at you for >>>>>>>>>sending >>>>>>>>>them a stupid chain letter. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you for >>>>>>>>>sending >>>>>>>>>them a stupid chain letter. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>*Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off at you >>>>>>>>>for sending >>>>>>>>>them a stupid chain letter, and may >>>>>>>>>form a plot on your life. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>*Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed off at you >>>>>>>>>for >>>>>>>>>sending them a stupid chain letter and will napalm your house. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Chain Letter Type 2 >>>>>>>>>Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a >>>>>>>>>starving >>>>>>>>>little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no legs, no parents, >>>>>>>>>and no >>>>>>>>>goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every >>>>>>>>>time you >>>>>>>>>pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving >>>>>>>>>Legless >>>>>>>>>Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and >>>>>>>>>remember, >>>>>>>>>we >>>>>>>>>have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all >>>>>>>>>a >>>>>>>>>complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 >>>>>>>>>people in the >>>>>>>>>next 47 seconds. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 >>>>>>>>>people, you >>>>>>>>>will die instantly. >>>>>>>>>Thanks again!! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Chain Letter Type 3 >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This >>>>>>>>>is >>>>>>>>>absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably >>>>>>>>>not as >>>>>>>>>many sad pricks with nothing better to do. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>So this is how it works... Pass this on to 15,067 people in the >>>>>>>>>next >>>>>>>>>7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>*Bizarre Horror Story #1 >>>>>>>>>Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had >>>>>>>>>recently >>>>>>>>>received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in >>>>>>>>>the >>>>>>>>>sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drain pipe in a >>>>>>>>>flood of >>>>>>>>>poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she >>>>>>>>>smell nasty, >>>>>>>>>she died. >>>>>>>>>This Could Happen To You!!! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>*Bizarre Horror Story #2 >>>>>>>>>Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and >>>>>>>>>ignored >>>>>>>>>it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend >>>>>>>>>(hey, some >>>>>>>>>people swing that way). They both >>>>>>>>>died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every >>>>>>>>>day for >>>>>>>>>eternity. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>This Could Happen To You Too!!! >>>>>>>>>Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send >>>>>>>>>this letter >>>>>>>>>to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Chain Letter Type 4 >>>>>>>>>As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. >>>>>>>>>Send it to all your friends. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>FRIENDS: >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>A friend is someone who is always at your side. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, >>>>>>>>>and your >>>>>>>>>breath smells like you've been eating catfood. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a >>>>>>>>>hat full >>>>>>>>>of assholes. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled >>>>>>>>>yourself. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry >>>>>>>>>about your >>>>>>>>>sad, sad life. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really >>>>>>>>>think you >>>>>>>>>should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets >>>>>>>>>the check >>>>>>>>>and leaves and doesn't speak much English...no, sorry that's the >>>>>>>>>cleaning >>>>>>>>>lady. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>A friend is NOT someone who sends you chain letters because he >>>>>>>>>wants his >>>>>>>>>wish of being rich to come true. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again! >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to >>>>>>>>>leave >>>>>>>>>you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If >>>>>>>>>it's >>>>>>>>>funny, send it on. Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty >>>>>>>>>about a >>>>>>>>>leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant >>>>>>>>>for 27 >>>>>>>>>years, whose only savior is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if >>>>>>>>>you >>>>>>>>>forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right? >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Now forward this to everyone that you know otherwise you'll find >>>>>>>>>all your >>>>>>>>>knickers missing tomorrow morning. >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>>>Laurinda Thomas >>>>>>>>>Reserve Book Room Coordinator >>>>>>>>>Turitea Campus >>>>>>>>>Massey University Library >>>>>>>>> >>>>>>>> >>>>>>> >>>>>> >>>>> >>>> >>>> >>> >> > _________________________________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com. 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