For Jerry Herman. Old joke from this very list. Rick Sent from my iPhone
Begin forwarded message: > From: "Hendrik Riessen" <heni...@ozemail.com.au> > Date: February 14, 2006 3:22:36 PM CST > To: "Mercedes Discussion List" <merce...@striplin.net> > Subject: Re: [MBZ] some info please > Reply-To: Mercedes Discussion List <merce...@striplin.net> > > While on the subject of diesel Mercs, a bloke on the ozvets list posted this > in regard to MB diesel ownership (I think the person who wrote drove a > 240D). > > > How to tell if your Mercedes-Benz is a diesel: > > 1. While driving, you find that you really look forward to going downhill. > > 2. You need a more powerful radio - not to be cool, but just to hear it over > the engine clatter. > > 3. You drive very carefully and defensively - you have learned that your car > has "same-day throttle response". > > 4. You begin to suspect that your entire car runs on vacuum. > > 5. Your car inexplicably veers towards the exit when you drive by a truck > stop. > > 6. Your hands are always various shades of black. > > 7. You look in the rear view mirror frequently, to see how much black smoke > you are putting out today. > > 8. When you buy fuel, the pump is always "around back", away from "normal" > people. > > 9. Someone mentions actor Allen Alda, and you think they are talking about > the wrench you use to adjust fuel ratios. > > 10. The parts guy at Mercedes stealership has been over to your house for > dinner. > > 11. Instead of "flooring it", you tend to say "all ahead flank!". > > 12. You are the only person in the neighborhood who think your car exhaust > smells good. > > 13. You know where the cheapest diesel fuel station is. > > 14. Friends often hear you speak of Diesel Purge, MPG, smoking/fogging > somebody at night, or bragging about that rare opportunity to race the local > bus! > > 15. your grandmother thinks your car is cool. > > 16. If u are seen in parking lots, dumping all manner of things into the > tank filler, and they arent diesel fuel...... > > 17. you keep a few coat hangers in the trunk 'to fix > stuff with' > > 18. There is an electrical cord running from your hood to the house each > winter. > > 19. Your car has a reputation among tailgaters as being the one NOT to > tailgate. > > 20. No matter what color your car is or how often you wash it, the left > corner always looks black. > > 21. your car 'marks its spot' everywhere you park yet 'never burns a drop of > oil' ! > > 22. you tell your back seat passengers 'don't even try to open the windows, > they haven't worked in 15 years''. > > 23. if something is wrong it will likely 'self heal' within a short time.. > say a year..! > > 24. People are always saying how delicious your exhaust smells if you're > running WVO. > > 25. it makes an awfull lot of noise so you can't order drive through > hamburgers. > > 26: Your trunk lid and bumper are covered in black soot. > > 27. Everytime you fuel up, the attendant comes out and says "Sir, thats the > diesel pump" > > 28: During the winter, you find yourself borrowing other people's car, just > so you dont have to wait for yours to warm up > > 29: You can go at least 500 miles without refueling > > 30: Your engineering friends refer to the throttle linkage as "something out > of my last Dynamics exam" or "the reason why the Germans lost WW2" > > 31: Your girlfriend tells you "I cant believe you still drive that thing" > > 32. You can leave your engine running while filling up and pi** off the > cashier. > > 33. You get to use cool words like: "prechamber," "banjo bolt," and > "wastegate." > > 34. The guys at the tire shop don't know how to turn your engine off. > > 35. Yours is the only running car once an EMP bomb goes off. Hybrids will > literally be fresh meat. > > 36. A battery dying out on you while you're on the road will not leave you > stranded. > > 37. Once all the petroleum in the world runs out, you'll know you've got > waste veggie oil to fuel your car. It will run forever! > > 38. In certain areas, you don't need a smog/emissions test. > > 39. You can drive cross-country on a single tank of fuel, and perhaps back. > > 40. Replacing the shut of mechanism may be catastrophic! > > 41. The only spark your car ever has is when it's freshly detailed! > > 42. When people ask its 0-60 time you just laugh > > 43. If someone asks how many miles it has you reply (in my case 228k) and > they are amazed and we just shrug "she's still getting broken in" > > 44. When you pull up next to a 1968 200D, you see an oppurtunity to finally > win a race. > > 45. The best races are against minivans loaded with kids going to the > park...and its always a close race. > > 46. your honda friends think their accord with 70k is rock-solid > reliable(when its in a shop for cv joints....) and call you for a ride in > the car they once called an unreliable money pit. > > 47. you know its parts better than those of your partner. > > 48. When you drive another car you grind the start because you cant hear or > feel the engine > > 49. You start speed up before LONG before hills > > 50. You turn the key to the on position for a few seconds before actually > cranking the engine. > > 51. If its still running. > > 52. You walk in the store and come back out to your car and the engine was > left running the whole time. > > 53. You tell people you floor it at every green light, but you don't tell > them it's a slow car. > > 53. Everytime you get behind the wheel of your friends gasser, she asks > "what are you waiting for" when you turn on the key and wait to start the > car. > > 54. You stare at your gasoline cars tachometer and try like hell to figure > out what time it is. > > 55. You are irrationally proud of your high mileage, and have actually > thought about adjusting your odometer up to a really big number. > > 56. You have a hand pump in the engine! > > 57. Noisy cars don't bother you anymore. > > 58. You know if a diesel is coming near you just by the sound. > > 59. You can make cars' alarms go off in a covered parking lot (well, mine > does if I step 1/4 on the pedal). > > _______________________________________ http://www.okiebenz.com For new and used parts go to www.okiebenz.com To search list archives http://www.okiebenz.com/archive/ To Unsubscribe or change delivery options go to: http://mail.okiebenz.com/mailman/listinfo/mercedes_okiebenz.com
