My parents were getting unable to take care of themselves and hired
various random people to come help out and care for them. Got a call
from my cousin who ran a bank branch for the bank they had money at, he
was a retired cop and had received a call from a cop in another little
town who had arrested some lowlife woman for trying to alter a check
they had given her to go get groceries. He recalled another incident
where some other lowlife they had at one point had come to his bank with
a forged check for $5000 and just so happened to present it to him,
saying it was for a roofing job. That one got busted. So my cousin
(somewhat contrary to policy, but as family...) checked their bank acct
and it had like $117 left in it. These various (3 I could document)
people had been stealing money for about a year, writing checks in the
same amount as checks they were given, so if the bank called to ask if
they written a check for whatever, they said yes they had. Total was
like $42k, after a coupla years of going back and forth to KY to court
hearings and such I finally ended up getting about half of it back and
the miscreants had no ongoing felonious record. It was a long painful
process and the prosecutor (small town, she knew various of my
relatives) had minimal interest in the crimes as they were not violent
or rapes of 5 year olds and such (which constituted a good part of her
load). Great country, America.
When I found out about it I flew up there the next day, and was sitting
outside doing something and the original woman comes driving up with
some guy and asks if she could go see my dad, she knew him and had
worked for him. I did not know who she was so OK... After a few
minutes I go inside to check up, she is asking him to borrow money, and
I ask who she is, my dad tells me, he has no idea she is the one who got
this whole thing going. Turns out she was basically a crack ho, my dad
is a softie, she had been "borrowing" money from him now and again for
awhile in addition to forging checks. I told her to GTF out of the
house and she got real sh*tty with me, I went to the back room and got a
shotgun and told her I would ask one more time politely. That got her
attention and they took off. Of course my dad was all upset, "You
didn't have to do that, she's nice!" My mom was going on about it all
too... lots of fun.
So, the point is, going through an agency is a very good idea, at least
you know who to go after if things go bad. Hope it works out well,
seems like it is.
--R
On 6/7/14 2:49 PM, Dan Penoff wrote:
Just wanted to toss this out for those on the list who might have relatives
caring for a loved one or spouse.
My father in-law is 85 years old and suffers from senile dementia, among other
things. None of these are debilitating enough for him to require placement in
a care facility or to allow him to qualify for home care. That means my mother
in-law is essentially a full time caregiver.
She's been doing this for a number of years, but as he approaches the end of
his life it's become more and more of her existence.
As one might expect, this takes a real toll on her, as she is still in good
health and fully capable of getting out and socializing, going to church, etc.
Father in-law has become a real ball and chain for her (and I mean that in the
most caring way possible.)
Since he doesn't qualify for any kind of home care, I was trying to find some
alternatives for respite care - someone who could come in and just provide
companionship and general care for Father in-law so Mother in-law could get out
and do some things on her own, like get her hair done or visit some friends.
I found a really great service called "Visiting Angels". It's a national franchise that
has local services for respite care on an hourly basis. The caregivers are all CNAs at minimum and
thoroughly vetted. There is no obligation as far as a contract, and you have the ability to
specify in advance the type of caregiver you want. If they don't seem to be a good "fit"
you can have another.
We have an "Angel" come in once a week for three hours. Mother in-law gets out
and can pretty much do as she pleases during that time. The cost is actually pretty
reasonable (I think) with ours being a little under $20/hour. They have a sliding scale
that decreases the hourly rate as you increase the hours.
This has done so much to improve her self esteem and general well being. It
gives her something to look forward to every week and a chance to get out and
interact with others. It is the best $60/week I have ever spent (so far.)
Just thought I would put this out there as I know some of you have similar
situations.
Dan
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