Floyd Thursby via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
August 1, 2016 at 7:25 PM
Some years back the company I worked for, for reasons never
particularly clear, decided that we needed to do some business in
Africa. I think it had something to do with the fact that the
president/founder of the company, who was Indian by way of London,
got wrangled into some trade delegation the state had organized to go
to Africa for "business development." There weren't a lot of black
company owners so they figured this guy would do. Anyway, at some
point we ended up hiring this Malian guy, who was a really nice guy,
to be our consultant in trying to get bidness going somewhere in
Africa. I thought this a complete waste of time and money, and it
ended up being so, but no one listened to me so off we went. Since
our guy spoke French we concentrated on Cote d'Ivoire and Gabon, I
think we ended up with maybe $25k in bidness after spending at least
that much on travel and bribes, er, "consulting fees," and whatever.
I never went there but my boss did, and loved it.
This Malian guy had been living in the US for some time, and pretty
much hated Africa, any part of Africa, because of the corruption,
violence, poverty, kleptocrats, etc. He was very politic in his
expressions of his opinion, but he hated Africa in general, and
Nigeria in particular. One day over lunch he told me this story of
the last time he had gone there, he had flown there from Bamako (his
family home) after a visit. Some relative of his was a big shot
general in the Malian military, which was probably like being the
sergeant in charge of the motor pool in some medium-sized American
community, but whatever, this guy was connected. So our guy bums a
general's uniform from him to go to Nigeria, with all the medals and
stars and gold stuff, and shoulder brushes, the big hat and all that
stuff. He got some other guy to come with him, probably some other
cousin or something, dressed in a regular soldier's uniform, to be
his gofer and bag carrier, kinda completing the whole image. No
parrot on his shoulder though.
He gets to the airport there, and rather than the usual shakedown
given to other Africans, he starts yelling at the customs guys, the
guards, the airport staff, etc. in French as soon as he gets off the
plane, waving his stick around, berating his gofer, walking along
like he owns the place, the whole package. He said it was great, no
one gave him any trouble, no shakedowns, no "fees" and such, he got
right through. He had his client organize a big limo for him to go
from the airport to the hotel, to look like a big shot too, and
changed clothes in the car so he wouldn't draw any more attention
once he cleared the airport. This was all pretty funny as this guy
was about as quiet and professional as someone could be, but in the
act he was a tyrant. He said it was a lot of fun.
He heard later from his big shot rel that the Nigerian military were
all bent that they didn't know this distinguished visitor was coming,
and had been calling the Malian military to find out who the hell he
was, what he was doing there, and why he never surfaced. They all
thought the whole deal was pretty funny as they hated the Nigerians too.
--FT
G Mann via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
August 1, 2016 at 6:28 PM
Compared to Nigeria and Africa in general... USA politicians are rank
amateurs.
When I was in Nigeria last [3 yrs ago] the price for having someone
killed
with a machete was $20.00 cash... if you wanted them shot, you had to
buy
the gun and the killer got to keep it, so cost was higher... maybe
$150.00. Or, at your option, you could have the "offending party"
captured
and sold into slavery, never to be seen again. The slaver takes a double
fee, one from you, one when the "slave" is sold.
Anyone in office had their hand out, or an assistant pushing a
wheelbarrow
to carry the bribe demanded. with armed guards.
We are so civilized we can't imagine such things happening.
Mercedes are however very popular with elected officials there, armored
versions in particular.
On Mon, Aug 1, 2016 at 3:00 PM, Mountain Man via Mercedes <
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Mountain Man via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
August 1, 2016 at 5:00 PM
Oh.
So... they are the people running our election process fiasco?
mao
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G Mann via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
August 1, 2016 at 1:43 PM
Ohhh Noooooo Does this mean the $20,000,000 inheritance that is held
by the
princess dying of cancer will never be released?
"Released on Bail" in Nigeria.....
Translation: Time to become invisible for life and never be found
again..
Africa: The mother of all fraud, the center of public official
corruption.
On Mon, Aug 1, 2016 at 9:47 AM, archer75--- via Mercedes <
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archer75--- via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
August 1, 2016 at 11:47 AM
http://www.bbc.com/news/world-africa-36939751
He sent us so many heart-warming requests. We'll miss him.
Gerry
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