The mouse that roared! The fast track to lotsa cash.
archer75--- via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
June 17, 2017 at 2:23 PM
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We have a potentially serious situation building right here in
Florida, Dan:
"Since the United States has once again declared its sovereignty over
Key West; otherwise known as the Conch Repubic; it has declared war on
the United States.
Little is still known about the progress of the war but borders have
been closed and the U.S.Navy is known to be on the way for a suspected
invasion.
The Conch Republic has a massive store of ammunition in the form of
stale Cuban bread, so the outcome is anyones guess.
The last attempt of the U.S. to take over the Conch Republic ended in
the defeat of the USA which had set up a roadblock on the only road
out of the Islands:
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Key West Declared War on the United States in 1982
The string of islands ‘seceded’ from the Union and became the Conch
Republic
by DARIEN CAVANAUGH
The people of Key West, Florida don’t take kindly to bullies,
especially federal bullies. When Washington blocked the only road to
the mainland, the islanders formed their own nation … then caused a
series of international incidents.
It all started on April 18, 1982, when residents and tourists leaving
the Florida Keys ran into an unexpected delay. Without prior notice,
the U.S. Border Patrol had set up a roadblock and checkpoint on U.S.
Route 1 in front of Skeeter’s Last Chance Saloon in Florida City. It
was the only road out of town.
Although they were not crossing a national border, agents required
U.S. citizens leaving the Keys to verify their citizenship and submit
their vehicles to a search. That’s despite the roadblock not being on
an international border.
The roadblock served to prevent undocumented immigrants from entering
the U.S. through the Keys. The area had seen an influx of immigrants
and refuges from Cuba since the Mariel Boatlift two years earlier. But
Border Patrol agents also used the stops to search for illegal drugs.
The delays often lasted several hours, causing traffic to back up for
up to 19 miles. It was an inconvenience for residents, but more
importantly — it discouraged tourists from visiting the Keys. Tourism
is a large source of income to the islanders … and they were losing
money daily.
“No one in Key West doubted that drugs were trafficked widely in the
Keys by road and by boat” government professor Robert Kerstein wrote
in Key West on the Edge — Inventing the Conch Republic. “But tourism’s
boosters had little tolerance for interruptions to their business.”
Dennis Wardlow — then Key West’s mayor — acted quickly to address the
crisis. He contacted the city’s chief of police, the sheriff of Monroe
County, the district’s Florida State representative and Gov. Bob
Graham to find out who ordered the roadblock and to demand its removal.
None of them knew who called for the barrier, but they all knew they
didn’t have the authority to close it. Wardlow finally contacted the
Border Patrol directly. It didn’t go well.
The captain of the Border Patrol told Wardlow the roadblock was “none
of his business.”
“Don’t tell a Conch it’s none of your business,” the mayor replied,
invoking the nickname of residents of the Keys. The Border Patrol had
unwittingly sown the seeds of rebellion.
Wardlow consulted with his city council, business leaders and tourism
boosters to discuss the federal agency’s “attack on Key West’s
sovereignty.” They decided to seek an injunction from the federal
district court in Miami to get the roadblock removed.
On April 22, a small group of Conchs — including Wardlow and local
attorney and pilot David Paul Horan — flew to Miami. When Miami’s U.S.
District Judge C. Clyde Atkins failed to issue the injunction, he left
the citizens of the Keys with little recourse.
“Tomorrow at noon the Florida Keys will secede from the Union!”
Wardlow announced to reporters gathered on the courthouse steps on his
way out of the building. He and his associates headed home to prepare.
“The first act of rebellion occurred before they had even returned to
Key West,” Kerstein wrote. “Horan, a seasoned pilot, buzzed the
roadblock on their flight back to the island city.”
Back in Key West, Wardlow and his co-conspirators rapidly organized a
new government — albeit a bit tongue-in-cheek. They assigned around 30
officials and civic leaders to new posts such as the secretary of
underwater affairs and the minister of nutrition.
“By establishing that border they have declared us a foreign nation,”
he told reporters. “We’re tired of the U.S. government picking on
little Key West.”
He vowed to negotiate only with Pres. Ronald Reagan or Vice Pres.
George H. W. Bush (Bully-in-Chief). “I guess they think we’re kidding,
and we’re not,” he exclaimed.
Federal agents arrived to monitor the situation. Wardlow, the newly
appointed government and a throng of supporters and media gathered at
Clinton Square at noon the next day to officially announce the Keys’
secession.
They lowered the Stars and Stripes from the flagpole, and raised the
blue and yellow flag of the new Conch Republic. Wardlow read the
“Conch Republic Proclamation of Secession.”
“We serve notice to the government in Washington to remove the
roadblock or get ready to put up a permanent border to a new foreign
land,” he said. “If we’re not equal, we’ll get out. It’s as simple as
that … big trouble has started in much smaller places than this.”
Wardlow — now serving as prime minister of the new nation — declared
“war” on the United States by breaking a stale loaf of Cuban bread
over the head of a man dressed in a U.S. Navy uniform. Citizens of the
new republic began lobbing stale bread and conch fritters at federal
agents, Navy sailors and Coast Guard personal in attendance.
Approximately one minute after declaring war and firing a “verbal
shot” at the U.S., Wardlow surrendered to a nearby naval officer and
requested $1 billion in foreign aid to compensate for “the long
federal siege.”
The Conch Republic never received any “foreign aid” or war
restitution. But the spectacle attracted enough publicity to convince
the feds to remove the roadblock. The micro-nation had won.
The idea of the “Conch Republic” became both a source of local pride
and a major means of promoting tourism in the Keys. Businesses began
selling t-shirts and bumper stickers with the micro-nation’s emblem
and slogan — “We Seceded Where Others Failed.”
The Conch Republic’s secretary general even issues “souvenir”
passports for citizens and diplomats. The application fee for a
passport ranges from $100 to $1,200, depending on status.
“Sir” Peter Anderson — who served as secretary general until his death
in 2014 — claimed he had used his diplomatic passport to travel to at
least 30 other nations, including Russia. He even claimed to have
re-entered the U.S. with it on at least five occasions.
On Oct. 3, 2001, the Miami Herald reported that the Federal Bureau of
Investigation was investigating the possibility that Mohammad Atta —
one of the 9/11 hijackers — used a Conch Republic passport to enter
the U.S. after it learned someone with the same name received such
passport in the fall of 2000.
The FBI could never determine for certain if it was the same Atta, but
the possibility of someone using the souvenir passports to enter the
U.S. may not be as far fetched as it seems.
“A review of Anderson’s Conch Republic passports shows what appear to
be five red INS stamps, including a May 29, 1998, stamp at Miami
International Airport, three from Key West and a 1994 stamp in San
Juan, Puerto Rico,” Herald reporter Jennifer Babson wrote.
By the end of 2000, the Conch Republic had already issued more than
10,000 of the passports.
Today, the U.S. and the Conch Republic enjoy peaceful relations. The
tiny faux nation still celebrates the anniversary of its secession
with 10 days of parades, parties, fundraisers, a flag raising at Fort
Taylor and the Great Conch Republic Drag Race — in which volunteers
push female impersonators down Duvall Street in modified shopping
carts and buggies.
The tiny republic never officially declared war on the U.S. again, but
occasional diplomatic saber rattling and military skirmishes continued.
On Sept. 20, 1995, local radio station WPIK reported that the U.S.
Army’s 478th Civil Affairs Battalion planned to conduct a mock
invasion and occupation of an island. The Army didn’t notify Key West
officials about the operation, and the latter took that failure as an
assault on their sovereign nation.
Island officials contacted Pres. Bill Clinton, the U.S. Army and the
Navy to advise them that they would oppose the planned “invasion.” The
Conch Republic Armed Forces mobilized and a call went out for
residents to “defend the nation.”
On Sept. 21, the Conch Republic Navy — a modest fleet of fireboats and
private vessels — attacked Navy and Coast Guard ships in Key West
Harbor with water hoses, water balloons and volleys of stale Cuban
bread and conch fritters.
The attack caught the Naval command off guard, at least from a public
relations perspective. The local commander “surrendered” his ships and
ordered his men to lay down their arms.
U.S. ground troops attempting to enter the island by bridge met a
similar fate, when a force of 200 locals blocked their path and
refused to let them pass until they formally requested permission.
The standoff ended peacefully, and the Army sent a letter later that
day stating the exercises “in no way meant to challenge or impugn the
sovereignty of the Conch Republic.”
Only a few months later, tensions simmered again as a partial shutdown
of the federal government led to the closure of Fort Jefferson at Dry
Tortugas National Park. The closure of the fort cost the Keys an
estimated $30,000 a day in tourism revenue.
After learning that the fort cost only $1,600 a day to operate, city
officials and business leaders offered to raise the money to run the
park. But they couldn’t get a hold of anyone in the state or federal
government who knew how to make that happen.
So an elite Conch air force unit landed at Fort Jefferson to “declare
the fort open in the name of the Conch Republic.” They found the park
rangers and offered them a check to reopen the fort. The rangers
refused, issued the Conchs a citation for trespassing on federal
property and told them to leave.
The islanders retreated to Key West, and the feds later dropped the
charges.
Relations normalized after 1995, with only a brief flare up when the
Conch Republic “annexed” the abandoned Seven Mile Bridge in 2006.
When 15 Cuban refugees landed at the base of the bridge, the Border
Patrol and Coast Guard ordered they return to Cuba. They argued that
the bridge wasn’t U.S. territory — a precondition as part of the U.S.
wet foot, dry foot policy allowing undocumented Cuban immigrants to
stay if they make it to American soil.
Anderson led a landing party of Conchs who staked miniature flags
along the bridge. “Since the federal government decided in its
infinite wisdom that the old Seven Mile Bridge is not territory of the
United States, the Conch Republic is very interested,” he told reporters.
The federal government “chose not to defend” the bridge from the Conch
invasion. “It could be a model green community,” he said, “with
composting toilets, wind and solar power, rainwater collection, like
living on a boat, really.”
The islanders still boast a “standing” army, navy and air force. They
say it’s just to re-enact battles with U.S. Coast Guard and Navy. But
if you’re ever in Key West, watch out for stale Cuban bread.
https://medium.com/war-is-boring/key-west-declared-a-faux-war-on-the-united-states-in-1982-f2c40b429e75
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Dan Penoff via Mercedes <mailto:mercedes@okiebenz.com>
June 17, 2017 at 7:35 AM
Jeff Bezos: "Alexa, buy me something from Whole Foods”
Alexa: “Buying Whole Foods”
Jeff Bezos: “Sh*t”
-D
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