FROM ACTUAL EXPERIENCE!
1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease,
your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll
to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly
proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a
busy signal and someone always answers.
5. Supermarket Law - As soon as you get in the smallest line, the cashier
will have to call for help.
6. Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you
were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
7. Law of the Bath - When your body is fully immersed in water, the
telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know
increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be
seen with.
9. Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine
won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely
proportional to the reach.
11. Law of the Theatre & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose
seats are furthest from the aisle always arrive last. They are the
ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer,
or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance
or the game is over.
12. Law of the Theatre & Hockey Arena Corollary - The folks in the aisle
seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big
bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle
people also are very surly folk.
13. The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your
boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is
cold.
14. Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker
room, they will have adjacent lockers.
15. Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich
landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness
and cost of the carpet or rug.
16. Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what
you are talking about.
17. Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
18. Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19. Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a
product that you really like, they will stop making it.
19. Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well and make an appointment to go to
the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. But if you
don't make an appointment you'll stay sick. This has been proven over
and over with taking children to the pediatrician.
Can you think of any more?
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