TRAPPED IN NEVERLAND
Jackson's Fame And Great Misfortune
Public Acclaim Is No Substitute For True Sense Of Self-Worth — Or For
Growing Up
By PETER TORK
July 12, 2009

The story of Michael Jackson is the story of every charismatic,
troubled entertainer writ large — writ the largest, really, of any in
recent pop music history.

I don't believe that the history of pop music will count Michael
Jackson as more important than the Beatles, but the fact that his is
the story of one person, rather than that of a group, concentrates
what lessons or cautionary tales we may choose to draw.

Rumors of his treatment at the hands of his father, his encounters
with the law and his treatment of his own body point in a direction
familiar to me.

I believed at one point in my own life that if I could get the
millions to love me, it would compensate me for (as I believed) not
being loved at home. I am convinced (rightly or wrongly) that this
feeling accounts for the quality in our politicians and other public
figures we call charisma: Charm the people in a substitute for, and in
an effort to prove, one's own value.

As I was going through all the attention the Monkees generated, I
wondered why there was no way to prepare for being famous. Now, I'm
pretty sure there is no preparation possible. As (I think) Paul Newman
said: "If you're not crazy to do this, you're crazy to do this."

How are you going to listen to people if you have ample reason not to
trust anybody? How can you believe anyone who says they can help you
through the fame game? Whether a lonely kid is manipulated into
performing or simply hides and sings songs at night listening to far-
off radio stations, his sense of enforced personal solitude makes it
very difficult for him to believe that anybody's advice is in his own
real interest. His experience is that every guidance and suggestion is
for the suggester's benefit, not his, and he is only confused by
cooing words of affection.

I think just about everybody grows up believing two things, at least
for some part of their lives. One is that you can't do this life thing
alone, and, two, that there is no help. Entertainers (at least this
one, and of course I believe it of Michael) are particularly
susceptible. (I have more recently found the help it takes to get me
through life, but that's for another time.)

So, it wouldn't be surprising that Michael Jackson had no faith in his
own person. His plastic surgeries all suggest (as plastic surgery so
often does) that he had no sense of his true human worth. His legal
situations suggest to me that he was about 10 to 13 years old
emotionally. That's why the young boys he invited to Neverland were
companions; he clearly felt that he had playmates in them —
contemporary playmates.

Great artists have one characteristic in common: They are extremely
dedicated to their art. Whether the time they allot to the practice of
their craft cuts down on the time they can allot to growing up, or
whether an inability to grow up drives them into the comfort of work
is chicken and egg. Michael Jackson just about gave his all. It made
him one of the greatest entertainers ever, and cost him his heart.

• Peter Tork of Mansfield was a member of The Monkees rock band and
currently plays with Shoe Suede Blues.
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