*Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously. Check out their new livery! * *And get a kick out of the comments at the end of the photos.*
*WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN. * *Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg .. Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.* * Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported*: *On a Kulula flight*, *(there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing,* *when a flight attendant announced,* * "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it !" ---o0o--- * *On another flight* *with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said,* * "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and * *to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants.."* ----o0o--- *On landing*, *the stewardess said,* * "Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it 's something we'd like to have." *----o0o--- "*There may be 50 ways* *to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."* ---o0o--- "*Thank you for flying Kulula*. *We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."* ---o0o--- *As the plane landed* *and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:* * "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" ---o0o-- * *After a particularly rough landing* *during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."* ---o0o--- *From a Kulula employee:* "*Welcome aboard Kulula 271* *to Port Elizabeth .. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight.* *It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."* ---o0o--- "*In the event of a sudden loss* *of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.* *If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."* ---o0o--- "*Weather at our destination* *is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive.* *Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."* ----o0o--- "*Your seat cushions* *can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and* *take them with our compliments."* ---o0o--- "*As you exit the plane*, *make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."* ---o0o--- *And from the pilot* *during his welcome message:* * "Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. * *Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"* ---o0o� *Heard on Kulula 255* *just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said,* * "That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, * *it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."* ---o0o� *Overheard on a Kulula flight* *into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,* * "Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened * *while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"* ---o0o� *Another flight attendant's comment* *on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo* *bounces us to the terminal."* ---o0o� *An airline pilot wrote* *that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard.* *The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile,* *and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline". He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.* *She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"* * "Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it ?" The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?" * -- You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "Diamond Headz" group. To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to [email protected]. For more options, visit https://groups.google.com/d/optout.
