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   ----- Forwarded Message ----- From: The Onion 
<[email protected]>To: "[email protected]" <[email protected]>Sent: 
Tuesday, May 5, 2026 at 01:10:39 PM PDTSubject: Spirit Airlines Resumes 
Business After CEO Finds Nickel On Ground  
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­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ 
­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ 
­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ ­ 
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Tuesday, May 5, 2026
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NEWS
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Spirit Airlines Resumes Business After CEO Finds Nickel On Ground
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NEWS
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Epidemiologists Confirm First Airborne Transmission Of Mar-A-Lago Face
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ENTERTAINMENT
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Banksy Claims Credit For Latest ‘The Lockhorns’ Comic
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NEWS
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College Vs. Trade School
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ENTERTAINMENT
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