In my testing, I found that greylisting had too many false-positives
causing important and even critical mail to be unacceptably delayed.

Really?  That's quite the opposite of my experience.

Greylisting is good IF you turn off greylisting for hosts known to retry
(we do that for 40 days: If a host retries, we no longer greylist that host
for 40 days.)

That greatly reduces delays because mail servers that you often correspond
with quickly move on to the "do not greylist" list.

Good Point. The use of a multi-month "whitelist for hosts known to retry properly to disable greylisting seems like an excellent fix that would probably solve 75% of the issues I was detailing previously (hazarding a guess here).

I just don't know if that 1 email that got delayed X number of hours from a non-whitelist host wouldn't be the proverbial spine breaking straw and have a feeling it would occur here and greylisting would have to be 100% removed because of 1 FP email delayed.

Regards,
KAM

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