PUNS FOR EDUCATED MINDS

The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math disruption.

No matter how much you push the envelope,
it’ll still be stationery.

A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum
Blown-a-part.

Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
‘Keep off the Grass.’

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at
large.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned
veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts.
In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris , you’d be in Seine.

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