i sometimes really think i am , although im not so shure if that would actually be a bad thing , possible misinterpretation or fowl play by the church , catholic vadocin is obviously hideing somthing and has changed the bible in the past , i belive one recorded instance was in ?161 AD ? , the council of elders under constentine , i think thoughs facts r right , if there hideing somthing what , and how far back does it go , god forgive me if im wrong , but was paul the real anti christ ? he chased thomas out of jerusalem to the east , to kill him , but he said jesus appeared and stopped him , paul then hedded to the medateranian to eventually be crucified upsidedown , i think thomas wrote and hid the dead sea scrolls , but neather paul nor thomas was correct because they where bolth correct which means they were bolth wrong !?! what one had the other missed , its very complicated .
also ive been comparing and cross referancing several religious / philisofical ideas since i was about 13 , as a result of, well ... calling the devil out to a fight during a shamanistic typ ... umm hell i dont know !? which all came fom a pritty average up bringing , sort of odd to say the least . my family is not ultra religious by any means nor r they TOTAL F ups but rather average , i told my father i wanted to go to school for phylosaphy at 17 ish , he told me to go to school for somthing real ... god bless him , he needs it ! _ never went 4 it so esentally ive spent most of my life in my head figguring things out - exploring the sub concious mind taken into consideration that this mind is mine , and ive come a long way through alot of not so average struggles , i remember my mother used to tell me , and sometimes still trys to ( but i can see in here eye that it pains her to know that its a lie ) " Iknow u better than you know yourself " she would say . i feel this has certainly flip floped . ( "know thy self" _ the appitha / orical of delfi ) figguring things out - exploring wisdom from the past / religion figguring things out - exploring the spirit world/shaman , what i believe is possession like communion with god himself figguring things out - and im getting real close to being able to .... unify it all in a way i can explain to others with clearity , einstine looked for a simalar equasion but in physics but to belive im the anti christ in the traditional christian sence would be absurd in my head figguring things out - but once accomplished no need to be in my head any more - FREEDOM ! - ....the ability to ..... shine as the brightest of lights .... overflow with rivers of living water .... i have experienced this "ability" for short glimpses , but to think I'M capable of such things might be delusions of grandure , but if i consalt the good book he sais I AM u mentioned ADD or ADHD or somthing of that nature , what ur ( we're ) experiencing is simply one part of what it is to be human , " mental illness " is shared by us all and in all its forms are derivatives of the same beast , accept the fact that ur ok and just the way u should be , if u belive ur well then u will be well , if you dont feel that u are well i susspect guilt is causing restlessness , when i read what you say of yourself i see myself , i wish i could hand u the answer , i myself must accept it and the lord god said behold the the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil : and now lest he put forth his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat and live forever : do you belive there is a god ? ps. you really need to try and make these posts shorter and more normal ! Ash wrote: > On Monday, May 2, 2011 12:52:04 AM UTC-4, the taoist shaman wrote: > > > > i do belive u r accuseing me of being autistic .... > > No, just myself. Maybe. > > its possible , > > dont really know what autistic means , except for in sevier cases. > > typical to be unable to relate to others ? is what u mean by trapped > > within themselves ? i feel trapped as shit , im seriously about to > > try living in the wilderness like a cave man .... people think there > > smart , what an unfortunate delusion , science changes evry 100 > > years , animals are smart because there simple , they have no > > dependence on science , they dont covet the matirial , animals dont > > try to be something there not , animals dont lie ,...... animals dont > > try to change the world they see , they react as the world they see > > changes , like a mirror , animals dont judge or pretend to have to > > ability to judge one another , ..... it gets damn lonely damn quick > > though , living in the woods that is . are people who r > > autistic obsesed with perfection ? im a perfectionist , ive been > > playing the keyboard since i was 12 and im still working on the same > > song ( love the church organ , sounds dark as hell ) > > > It was a dream of mine in the early teens to just pack a bug out bag and > head for Alaska or join a monastery somewhere far away. I didn't get it from > him but Wolverine had the idea pegged. > > its hard to keep track of everyone , whats ur religious standpoint ? > > > > On religion I prefer to think in terms of anthropology, psychology, > sociology, and sometimes philosophy/theology. There aren't any convenient > groupings for me, I wouldn't be able to make a coherent view and if I did it > would change based on what aspects I was exploring at that time. > Continuously, even as I write. Very inconvenient. I do however believe that > for any question or problem there is a tool for the job, so you could say I > was once into alchemy of mind/spirit and have retained a little bias toward > that. > > u mentioned life vs genetics or nature vs neurter i belive > > bolth to be equally correct , that ''life'' can alter genetics , in > > fact science has already seen this but only in long term evolution , > > but now they say evolution might be a much quicker prosses than they > > had previously ass umed , but its relatively to human life not yet > > even considered , can PTS actually physically change a person , > > there genetics , make them scitzo. , dose chemical inballance cause > > poor thoughts , or do poor thoughts cause chemical inballance , > > probably bolth . > > > Not sure I did but what the hell. Epigenetics deals with this I think. Man, > it would be so sweet to have augmented mental capacities. If I could store > what I've learned and access it as quickly as a healthy mind or turn things > off that are bothering me it would give me a serious boost. I think you are > right about all this, and believing we are immune or invincible doesn't > change the effects. "For every action there is an equal and opposite > reaction." > > im probably an autistic , PTS , psychotic schitzophranic , destined to > > become the anti christ ! LOL ! > > > > but worried on the inside > > > > do autistic people reliey on logic ? i scored 100 % in 50 % of given > > time on the logic portion of the a.s.v.a.b.s. > > > > i should probably stop typing now this is getting to long > > > > You seem able to think well, probably better than most and I can pick that > out in the discussions. Perhaps we have ADHD (probably just me). Who would > set their bars so low as 'normal'? FTW if it's worth doing it's worth doing > well, "destined to become the anti christ".
