I ran visudo and added both os these lines %shutdown ALL=(root) NOPASSWD: /usr/local/libexec/xfsm-shutdown-helper
%wheel ALL=(root) NOPASSWD: /usr/local/lib/xfce4/session/xfsm-shutdown-helper
I had to do a groupadd shutdown then I could do usermod -G shutdown shaulNow I consistently have the options of Restart and Shut Down working or enabled after I click on Quit.

