This certainly expresses the feeling of a newly changed well and I like
the underlying theme of him trying to find himself again. Just a couple
of things I came across while reading.
On 7/13/2010 7:45 PM, Prof wrote:
Greetings, dear Keepers,
The following couple of lines would be the obligatory „settling in“-part
of Mark Dreamers story, kind of.
I decided against a day to day description and let him sit somewhere to
make a résumé of the last days.
I hope you like it and I’m open for critic and advices (and for pointing
out mistakes I surely let slip *cough*).
Sincerely
Prof
Typo
I suddenly /knew/ I can play it. I think I didn’t even felt that giddy
when I discovered the abilities of my altered body out there in the forest.
I think I didn’t even >>feel<< that giddy
Confused sentence
Her pick-up lines aren’t the most original. They haven’t to, though.
Encounters like the current one generally only circling around getting a
mutual agreement about the price.
Do you mean "They don't have to."
The ending is a bit odd (which could also simply be my personal taste)
and I'm not entirely sure about the getting jailed. But still not a bad
opening story or at least a story to get your feet on the ground in the
MK universe.
Kamau
!DSPAM:4c405eb560211459720162!
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