This is the first revision of the story I posted to the list
earlier. I took care of a good number of typos, and tried my best
to get rid of a large number of repetitive uses of "hyacinth" early
on. I'm sure there are still a few problems like that, as well as
perhaps just in the structure of my sentences, so if anyone has any
specific suggestions for changes, please tell me.
Also, if you have read the first version, there is nothing really
changed as far as storyline is concerned, so you probably will be
fine without rereading it just for the sake of the edit.
To begin, I am honoured that you would follow my work so closely that
you could write a story like this. It's almost what I had in mind
for the dark temptation that Jessica will face in upcoming works.
First, even with the corruption, Jessica isn't going to do this to
people who aren't willing... at first. That sort of thing has to be
built up to. Second, she isn't going to know that the power of
Marzac is at work in her until... well, I don't want to spoil that.
Honestly, you've come pretty close to the mark, Lurking. I'm very,
very impressed. And delighted too. :-)
May He bless you and keep you in His grace and love,
Charles Matthias
!DSPAM:4c4b9c2b144291804284693!
_______________________________________________
MKGuild mailing list
[email protected]
http://lists.integral.org/listinfo/mkguild
