Rule 34: If it exists, there's porn of it. Skylos
On Thu, Jun 2, 2011 at 11:21 AM, Christian Okane <[email protected]>wrote: > Ok. What is rule # 34? > > > > Chris > > The Lurking Fox > > > > > > *From:* [email protected] [mailto: > [email protected]] *On Behalf Of *Hallan Mirayas > *Sent:* Monday, May 30, 2011 5:19 PM > *To:* Metamor Keep > > *Subject:* Re: [Mkguild] Healing Wounds in Arabarb (46 of ?) > > > > *happy dances along with!* And at the hand of his own monster, no less. > Classic. :) > > > Evil Overlord List Rule #48: I will treat any beast which I control through > magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever > broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge. At least he > avoided Rule #34, though. :) > > > From: [email protected] > > To: jagille [email protected]; [email protected] > > > Date: Mon, 30 May 2011 13:14:13 -0400 > > Subject: Re: [Mkguild] Healing Wounds in Arabarb (46 of ?) > > > > You finally killed Calephas! Hurrah! I've waited for that monsters death > > for a long time! > > > > *Does a happy dance! > > > > Chris > > The Lurking Fox > > > > > > > > > > > > -----Original Message----- > > From: [email protected] > > [mailto:[email protected]] On Behalf Of C. Matthias > > Sent: Monday, May 23, 2011 4:39 AM > > To: Metamor Keep > > Subject: [Mkguild] Healing Wounds in Arabarb (46 of ?) > > > > Healing Wounds in Arabarb > > By Charles Matthias > > > > > > One thing that Alfwig had grown used to in the two months he had been > > chained in the dungeon of Fjellvidden castle was the sounds of the > > river rushing past. The water lapped at the stone foundations and > > when the tide was high, at the floor beneath him. It almost purred as > > it flowed to the distant ocean. No matter when he felt tired, it > > never ceased to lull him to sleep. Fitful sleep with bad dreams > > perhaps, but still sleep nevertheless. > > > > This meant that even he could hear the sound of fighting in the city > > when it began. It may not be in the castle, but it was sufficient for > > him. Alfwig slipped free of the bonds that Yajgaj had undone, rubbed > > his wrist and ankles for a moment, stretched his legs one last time, > > and then walked carefully across the dungeon. Even though Yajgaj had > > extinguished the torches, after two months, there was not a crevice > > in the dungeons that Alfwig didn't know as intimately as his own he art. > > > > The door was unlocked and beyond he saw light at the top of the > > stairs. Only a single lantern, but it was enough to make the man's > > eyes wince. Alfwig shadowed his eyes with his forearm as he climbed > > the steps softly and carefully, listening for the sounds of anyone > > approaching. The castle was silent, and now out of the dungeons he > > couldn't even hear the distant combat. > > > > At the first landing he saw the lantern hanging from the wall > > overlooking a sleeping cot covered in furs suitable to a Lutin. A > > pair of chests rested against the back wall. Alfwig found both of > > them unlatched. Fresh clothes suited to his frame were tucked into > > one, while good leather armor had been carefully arrayed in the > > second. He lifted the armor to his nose and smiled faintly. Crisp and > > with the familiar scent of the oil he'd used while working in Ture's > > tannin g shop. This was indeed the armor he had fashioned for himself > > a few months ago as he'd looked forward to the day that he would help > > his people be free of the tyrants that had unmanned them. > > > > He stripped out of his dungeon rags, able to rip the cloth from his > > chest and legs rather than both to take the time to remove them. > > Then, he pulled on the fresh cloths and delighted in how good a fit > > they were. Yajgaj had clearly studied him well in preparation for > > this day. How long had that Lutin been planning to betray Calephas > > and Gmork, and why do so only now? > > > > Once he dressed, Alfwig donned the armor and stretched it to make > > sure it was still flexible. He then searched for his sword, but > > neither was there even a dagger in the trunks, nor was there a sword > > anywhere near them. He finally found his blade beneath the cot just > > as Yajgaj had promised. A sma ll covered platter of bread and cheese > > was waiting for him. There was only enough for a few bites so he > > quickly chewed both. > *> > > His sword had been freshly oiled and sharpened as if it had been done > > by a weaponsmith of Arabarb. Yajgaj surprised him anew. He swung the > > sword a few times, savoring the feel of a blade in his hand again. > > Alfwig smiled in satisfaction, and then started up the stairs. He > > knew the path to Calephas's laboratory; he'd been brought there often > > enough. This would be the last time he ever walked that dark corridor > > that smelled of death. > > > > "Lhindesaeg," he murmured under his breath when he reached the top of > > the landing, "I'm coming." > > > > ---------- > > > > At the end of a long corridor at the very bottom of the castle, two > > levels down from the laboratory, was a solid black iron door. The > > only one who ever ca me to this door was Baron Garadan Calephas. And > > so it was now, accompanied by the tiger Weaker, that Calephas came to > > it one last time. He threw the heavy latch and pushed the door out > > into the crisp air and the small dock beneath the castle. The yawl > > stretched against the stone pier, the river slowly moving past here, > > but still strong enough to easily carry them out into the main > > current and sweep them past the city within minutes. > > > > The Baron smiled in relief. He had hoped he would not have to pass > > any of the soldiers, especially the Lutins and most especially any of > > Gmork's pups along the way from his laboratory. He'd seen not a soul > > and his sword remained unused in its scabbard at his side. He glanced > > at the tiger carrying the chest with his potions and gestured for him > > to go through. "Set them on the ship and haul in the anchor. I'll > > ready the mizze n and then we'll cast off." > > > > Weaker nodded mutely, climbed down the stone steps to the wharf and > > then over the gunwale near the bow. Calephas watched him set the > > chest in the little niche between either side of the fo'c'sle before > > turning to secure the iron door. It took both of his arms to swing it > > shut. A large iron bar was attached the stone wall next to the door. > > It was free of rust only because the Baron came here and treated it > > with his alchemical concoctions at least once a week even in bleakest > > winter. No amount of soldiers would batter down this door. Gmork > > could do it, but Gmork would be busy defending the castle from the > > idiots in the Resistance. > > > > Calephas laughed to himself as he thought on it. Let them fight. In > > an hour he would be far downriver and by the evening his potions > > would be ready. Come the morning he could stretch majestic wings and > > fly wherever he wished to go, a mighty wyrm at last. > > > > How many of his enemie s had sought to destroy him over the long > > years? His rivals in the Midlands had driven him into exile, but he > > had ended up conquering Arabarb with Nasoj's help to gain a land even > > vaster than the one his birthright had provided him. Two years ago > > he'd been given the task of preparing a mountain assault upon the > > northwestern edge of Metamor Valley. The Keepers had driven him back > > and slaughtered his men, but not before his spies had found paths > > through the forests that could help Nasoj's armies march straight to > > Metamor without the fools in Hareford or the Glen any the wiser. > > > > And how well he remembered that attack the previous winter. > > Everything had seemed to go according to plan at first, that was, > > until one of Nasoj's divisions decided to ransack the Glen as they > > passed. The Glenners had found his encampment despite the winter's > > grip and a betrayal fr om within his own rank had handed him over to > > them. How he longed for the day he could feast on Andrig and > > Gaerwog's flesh. The thought of ripping their bodies to pieces with > > serrated teeth and cooking their flesh with his very breath brought > > an icy thrill that made him shiver as he crossed the pier to the aft > > of the yawl and climbed aboard. > > > > Even though the Glenners had captured him, he had still escaped and > > while leading the remnants of his army north, led those overrated > > Long Scouts into a trap that very nearly decimated them. A magical > > artiface alone had saved them, one that Nasoj had long sought vainly. > > > > And of course, Calephas could not forget his alliance with Lilith and > > the gift of the draconian potions. From every defeat he grew > > stronge r. And now he would never need to fear defeat again. > > > > He laughed to himself as he pondered all of these events, hands > > carefully readying the mizzen mast. He was so wrapped up in his joy > > that he didn't even bother watching Weaker haul in the anchor. The > > tiger stood staring at the anchor chain and crank for several long > > seconds before bending over the side and grabbing the heavy chain in > > his paws and lifting it up with his own remarkable strength. His lips > > curled back with each pull revealing sharp fangs and a long raspy > > tongue. Golden eyes narrowed as the anchor, a massive rusted piece of > > metal that weighed at least twenty-five stone, emerged above the > > surface of the water and clunked against the side of the ship. This > > he grabbed and hauled over the gunwale along with the chain, and held > > in his paws as if it were a holy object. > > > > Calephas, finished with the mizzen, moved to the port to undo the > > ropes lashed to the pier when he noticed Weaker standi ng next to > > fo'c'sle with the anchor in his paws. "Weaker, what are you doing?" > > > > The tiger glanced at him and his lips curled in a snarl. "Wicked." > > > > His hand reached for his sword and his voice deepened with the > > authority that he had once used to break this tiger. "What did you > > say to me, slave?" > > > > The tiger lifted the anchor a little higher, the chain clinking as it > > dragged across the wood of the yawl. His voice hissed with predatory > > exhilaration. "My name is Wicked!" With a heave he drove the anchor > > down into the chest at his feet. The wood cracked and splintered, and > > the three exquisite bottles with his precious potion shattered and > > spilled their contents across the deck. > > > > "No!" Calephas shouted in fierce rage. His sword leaped int o his hand > > as he dashed across the short distance. He swung the blade at the > > tiger's side, but the Keeper swung the anchor up to meet the blade. > > He was faster than Calephas had imagined carrying so heavy a weight, > > as he deftly parried blow after blow from the heavy sword. Calephas > > had to yank his sword back each time to keep the blade from snapping > > against the anchor. > > > > The tiger's eyes were fierce with triumph as he stepped to the right, > > moving slowly around the baron. Calephas felt only rage and hate for > > this traitorous slave. The loss of the potions was devastating, but > > he knew enough now that he could create them anew. It would take > > months, but he would do it. First this tiger would die. > > > > His voice was ever one of his weapons. "You little shit! How dare you > > try to stop me from striking you! You are nothing without me, Weaker. > > You are a weakling without me. You are dust! An ant! Dung! I am your > > master! I am your god, Weaker. Drop that anchor and face my wrath as > > you ought! I am your god!" > > > > Weaker smiled at him and kept turning to the side. He never lashed > > out with the anchor, only deflected Calephas's sword blows. All the > > baron needed was for this foolish Keeper to try to strike him once > > and it would be over. No matter how fast he could move that heavy > > weight, Calephas could slip through his attack. His sword had already > > nicked the tiger in the upper arms three times and the trails of > > blood were staining his orange and black fur as they dripped down to > > join the mess of purple and gray smearing the deck. > > > > And then, after the tiger was finally back on the gunwale side, he > > shifted to his right with the anchor and Calephas drove home in the > > slight window between his arm and chest. The blade sank deep into his > > flesh, pier cing just beneath his lung. Blood spurted along the haft > > of his sword and the tiger's expression of delight became blank with > pain. > > > > "Weaker," Calephas sneered as he slid the blade further into the > > tiger's belly, curving it as he drew it back out. Another moment and > > the craven beast's innards would spill across the deck. > > > > But the tiger lowered his right arm and grabbed the chain dangling > > from the end of the anchor and grinned. "More Wicked," he said with a > > vicious hiss before he turned and threw the anchor over the gunwale. > > > > The chain which had been dragged along as the tiger had circled him > > snapped into the air, caught Calephas behind the back and shoved him > > into the tiger's chest, the sword driving completely through the > > tiger's middle as the breath was forced from his lungs. Calephas > > tried to scr eam as he clawed at his slave 's shoulders to break free > > before the sinking anchor vaulted them from their feet and carried > > them both down into the water tangled in the heavy chain. > > > > The yawl rocked back and forth for a moment after they disappeared. > > The water rippled with the current that babbled briskly in the sudden > > silence. > > > > > > ---------- > > > > May He bless you and keep you in His grace and love, > > > > Charles Matthias > > > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > MKGuild mailing list > > [email protected] > > http://lists.integral.org/listinfo/mkguild > > > > > > > > > > _______________________________________________ > > MKGuild mailing list > > [email protected] > > http://lists.integral.org/listinfo/mkguild > * > > > > _______________________________________________ > MKGuild mailing list > [email protected] > http://lists.integral.org/listinfo/mkguild > > -- "If only I could get rid of hunger by rubbing my belly" - Diogenes !DSPAM:4de7bdb5269191804284693!
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