AN: I've had this story since before I sent the last one in. And I hate it. I don't know how to fix it, so I'm posting it. Any advice is much appreciated. Value To My Friend in the North You would think I'd get less nervous after writing one of these letters, not more. Yet even as I write this my hand shakes. My claws grip the wood near me to steady myself. Perhaps it is fear of what I will have to say or...perhaps old age. There is a strange disconnect between writing this and the events that happened in the past. In the time since I have grown old, stories of the Keep have grown past its cursed boundaries. Some names are well known even to people who have never entered the Keep. I could tell a story about my first encounter with someone like the accursed rat, Brightleaf or...you know, you will find out. Instead let me tell you the next story in my sequence and my meeting with someone I rarely hear stories about. Too bad, the individual is or was a wonderful chameleon. For my growth it was important that I met him. Old age makes me reflective. Now I can see how it fits together, but at the time these events in life were random. At the time I knew so many things, how foolish. I apologize for again I ramble. May Eli bless you, my friend, and me as I continue this venture. March 26th, 707 'My life is over.' I woke up thinking that. I went to sleep thinking that. I chanted it so often that the words began to sound like a chorus in my head. A very good chorus if I do say so myself. Nemo looked after me as I was busy trying not to kill myself, a difficult task sometimes. No, I focused on little things, walking, breathing and not screaming at every monster that approached me. The Keep was a series of formless gray blobs with faceless shadows slinking throughout it. ' I don't deserve to be here.' I leaned back on my new bed. 'I'm intelligent. Handsome. Heir to a city! Why would the Divine curse me?' When you're a very annoyed agnostic, as I was, all supernatural forces fall under the vague purview of "the Divine". The Divine is never around when things are going great and they wont leave you when things are terrible. And they hate you personally of course. ' I hate this place. I don't want to meet people. I wish they'd burn this stain on a map to the ground.' My new bed was in my new room, in my new dwelling, all completely new of course. As for where this dwelling came from, I had heard them explain that it essentially grew out like a from the wall, like the new branch of a tree. Of course I knew that was non-sense, what kind of Keep can change size or add rooms? ' It's their fault. They kept me here...' I shook my head. 'You're being a moron James. You know that's not true. You've been an ass since arriving, why would they want to keep you?' "I've got to apologize to...the raccoon and whatever the hell the other lizard was." His name was Copernicus. I treated him like garbage. I sat up. I asked for this. I deserve it don't I? The sinking in my stomach had not gone away. If anything it had gotten significantly worse. When I wasn't trying to block out my depressing, I instead tried to block out my guilt. I wasn't any better at that. ' What day is it? The 26th? How did so much time pass? I need to get out.' I made no move off my bed. "Maybe I could vanish into it..." Our dwelling was three rooms, one main sitting/eating/greeting room in the center with Nemo's bedroom to the left and mine to the right. My bathroom back in Isenport was larger than the entire thing. It had windows, a beautiful commode and fresco paintings adorning the walls showing the creation of our empire. My room in the Keep had no windows and lots of blank stone walls. Lying on my back was becoming painful due to a new...growth. To me it was a fungus, sprouting against my will. Like everything else, extended slowly and to hide it I had used fabric to create a sarong. I wrapped it around my waist and it went down to my knees, hiding my backside and anything that may grow above it. Denial is a skill. I was an expert in it. As long as I covered up any changes that occured, no one could prove I was changing.. Nemo had managed to acquire some tools for sewing and so I had sewn a much better shirt. Most importantly, my new shirt hid any scales that would (or had) emerged on my upper body. ' Nemo's happy. Maybe Nemo's a moron too.' My backside screamed in pain but I refused to change positions. Instead I finally stood up. "Maybe I need to get out more." My room was decent sized I would discover, but it felt claustrophobic. How do people live in a room only ten paces across? Savages lived like that! As I stood up I stretched my stiff back out and rubbed the lump in my sarong. With all things in Metamor Keep, my bed was unusual. Specifically, it was suspended off the ground. It grew sideways out of the wall and hung off the ground high enough I had to work to climb up. "Why does my bed have to be like that? Stupid asses built this place." A squeaking noise interrupted my whining. I glanced down to see a gray rat scurrying across my floor. It paused for a moment and sniffed the air near me. "I'm glad someone is happy here." I smiled at the little rat. It scrambled back from where it came, to the space under my bed. "Sir Ratticus would have liked you I think. Maybe." In the days since I began to develop scales, the air had seemingly grown colder. Now March is already not a warm month but the air felt colder. Or maybe more like heat was in absence. Those may be similar ideas but I assure you, when you are cold blooded you know the difference. As you might have guessed the cold made me miserable. And with me, misery was concomitant with both whining and stubbornness. Nemo repeatedly offered to build a fire to warm us but I refused. "Why is it so cold?" I snapped, stepping out of my room. "Why won't this place warm up?" When you face a problem, solve it. I did not. I did the next best thing, I complained about it. Yes complain about the cold and then order someone not to fix it that's the logical course of action. "If you want warmth, I will build you a fire." Nemo said, not looking up. "I can accomplish more with one than simple food preparation." "I don't need a fire, the damn Keep needs to be warmer." My loathing for the Keep was ineffable, it's something I don't like reflecting on. Memories of my hate make these letters difficult to write. What also doesn't help was that I was such a delightful individual. "I'm glad to see you wearing your skirt again." Nemo said, still not looking up. "It makes you look quite masculine." "It's not a skirt! It's a sarong! Lot's of men where sarongs, they are very masculine!" It was a skirt. Just because it touched the ground didn't make it less of a skirt. "I'm thinking I'll stay inside again today." "You've not left once since we left this place. You will have to eventually." Nemo said. "What's the worst that can happen?" They hold me down and cut out my tongue for being a mouthy smartass. And I would deserve it. "I don't want to talk to freaks and monsters." I grumbled. "They're all ugly and smell like shit." "I don't smell anything." Nemo said. I rolled my eyes. "James, I've been up to my knees in blood and watched my comrades in arms die before my eyes. I endured. This is a city where the people have been cut off due to a curse. They have endured. This is a world where Yashua the Son of God died for you. Eli endured. You have to be nice. You will endure." "I will not." I said. "I'll die alone and unloved." "Then I'll miss you at first." Nemo said. I focused on the table. "Let me ask, what do you believe you are becoming?" "I don't know that I'm becoming anything." "The scales disagree." "Maybe they can find a way to reverse this! My father has money; he can pay people to reverse this." "Then why didn't the people in the Keep do that already?" Nemo asked. "Or do you believe they enjoy being isolated from the world and hated by everyone on instinct?" "Shut up!" Always the most eloquent of speakers. Nemo ate and ignored me. "Where is my food?" "I fixed you none. I asked last night, will you eat breakfast with me? Your response was a series of profanities that lead me to believe the answer is no. If you have changed your mind I'm afraid it's too late." "I'm not hungry." I said. "Just...do I have to go out there to buy food?" "Yes. You will have to talk to people." Nemo said. He turned back to me, smiling now. "James they're nice people. They've opened up to me, they want to know you." "Have you been talking about me?" I asked. "I didn't give you permission to do so!" "I had to when you asked me to go out and buy fabric." Nemo said. "James, I understand your fears. Your vicissitude of fortunes would leave anyone upset. But if you chose to wall yourself off like a hermit, that damned wheel will never turn again." He was right. I even knew it. I didn't want to admit it though so I sulked like a small child. "You also need to seek employment." "I am employed, I'm nobility." I said. "Yes and you have the important job of being better than others but only in Isenport." Nemo said. "Here they won't pay you for being a surly child in the form of a man. You will need employment." "How much money did my father leave us?" I asked. "Much more than I expected. The man never could understand how money worked so he gave us a bag full of coins without any idea of the amount inside." "How much?" I asked. "I'm not telling you." "Wha!" I smacked the table. "It's my money! I demand you tell me." "No, your father gave me control of our finances." Nemo said. "If I give it to you, you will spend it. My goal is to make sure we can remain fed and alive until both of us find employment." I nodded my head while mumbling more profanities under my breath. "Okay why haven't you gotten work yet?" I asked. Nemo pulled out or money bag and began to count out coins. "I asked you a question!" "This I give you for today." He said, sliding a small amount towards me. "As for why, there is no point in me yet finding employment." "That's a lie!" "The curse will strike me soon." Nemo said. "Should I lose limbs it would be best for me not to be working at a job that requires them. You are becoming a lizard and given the development of your arms, you will retain your basic shape." "You're worse when you're right." Nemo smiled. "I have that way about me." AN: More tomorrow.
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