Life As We Know It - II Listener, let me ask a question. How much respect do you suppose the Watch gets? Really think about it. The Long Scouts, open secret that they are, are filled with Metamor’s admired. Who is admired in the Watch? None to my knowledge. Being in the Watch means you serve justice. What people want is irrelevant. All that matters is justice. And that is something difficult to learn. This is the story of how I saved someone’s life when they wanted to die. Do you know what it means to save a life? It’s not easy. Yet it is so much worse though when they don’t want to be saved. They will loathe you as you help them. They will hate you if you succeed. No one will thank you, no one will reward you. All you have is the knowledge that what you did is right. And sometimes that has to be enough. It’s not fair that you can and will be hated for doing the right thing. But life isn’t fair.
March 31st, 707 'I’ve been here too often.' Again the dream came upon me. The same dream I had experienced so many times over the last several months. I fell, or emerged, into that hallway. It was for the most part black, except thin veins of white light along the edges of the walls. 'This doesn’t have to be scary.' My legs started to shake. I could feel myself sinking. I closed my eyes. 'I am in control. I am in control.' Instantly the sinking stopped. Now I stood on solid ground. I let out a deep breath. 'Why do I keep coming here?' The air blew across my scales and the cold clung to me. It didn’t feel like wind, instead it was a thousand grasping arms. I tried to brush them off. “Turn back Janelle.” A voice echoed from somewhere. I couldn’t see a speaker in that darkness. “You don’t want to reach it.” “Yes I do.” In the distance, an eternity away, was a light. I pushed forward. In the real world my body is weighed down by my tail. Here I felt as light as paper, pushed back by gusts of wind. “You will regret it. You can leave right now.” I couldn’t identify the gender of the speaker. The voice echoed from the walls. It was and wasn’t human all at once. It seemed to speak from the inside of my mind. “I have to keep going. I have to get to the center of this.” Where on Earth did those words come from? Why did I speak them? My legs burned as the hands of wind pulled against me. The bright light got a little closer, but the hallway seemed to stretch on just as far. “You can’t save everyone Janelle.” I shook my head. “Be quiet. I can do this.” One leg forward. “I can do anything.” The next leg. One-two-one-two. My tail was floating somewhere behind me. I knew it still existed but I couldn’t quite…feel it. My brain and my body were disconnected, yet I felt pain. No exhaustion. “Why do you keep trying Janelle? It’s okay to admit failure.” Never. Now the light seemed to draw farther away. I raised my hand. “Don’t!” The hallway began pushing against me so I ran harder. “Don’t! Please come back! Don’t do this Sotto!” I pushed until my chest burned and my eyes bled with pain. I ran though. “I’m coming for you!” I took a running leap at the light and- -And found myself sitting up in bed. My heart was racing and my sheets completely dry. Because reptiles don’t sweat. No matter how scared we get, you’ll never see us sweat. I collapsed back on my side. The window in my and my son’s room showed a pale moon outside. Still a few hours before work. I pulled my big tail over my side and hugged against it. I could hear my son in his bed taking his little breaths. “Only a dream. Again the same dream but just a dream.” I let go of my tail. “I prefer dreaming about our Duke…” I laughed. “Eli help me, I need out of here.” I stood up from my bed, careful to avoid the one bare patch on the floor. Ice cold stone could be bad for me. “One dream…” Holding my tail to avoid dragging noise, I padded over to my son. As my eyes adjusted in the dim light, I could see his tiny body under the blanket on his bed. His whiskers and ears twitched in rythem. 'What are you dreaming about Kaysar? No doubt something wonderful.' I reached out but hesitated. 'Let him sleep.' Watching my son must have done the trick because soon I was able to sleep again. This time no dreams came for me.
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