The cartalk.com TIME KILL WEEKLY Special "The Sky Is Falling" Edition ______________________________________________ Killing Time, Unencumbered by the Work Process ______________________________________________ Maury Maille, Editor
What's new at Car Talk Plaza? The sky is falling, actually. Well, sort of. We had a scary incident this week at Car Talk Plaza in Hahvahd Squayah. Fortunately, no one was hurt. What happened? The old, concrete ceiling in our Producer Dougie Berman's office actually came crashing down. Among the rubble was a chunk of ceiling that landed right on Dougie's chair. Had he been napping there at the time, with his head tilted back... it would have rammed itself right down his gullet-- and Dougie would be history. >From this little workplace safety incident, Tom and Ray drew an important >lesson: Beware of work. Had Dougie been more diligent about being at work, he might not be here right now (asleep in his temporary office next door). So, let this be a lesson to us all: Don't go to work. It's dangerous! What caused the sky to fall, we're not sure. It might have had something to do with the foot of rain we've had in the past few weeks here in Our Fair City. If said rain is not causing the ceiling to crash at your workplace, it's certainly capable of wreaking havoc with your car. Which, come to think of it, is one area where we *can* help. We've created a brand-spanking-new feature just for folks who are dealing with a car that might have been flooded. If you've got a friend who's been coping with the aftermath of Katrina or Rita -- or maybe just left the sunroof open during a local downpour -- we've got just the tips they're looking for right now at http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/flood/ Pass it along. It just might save someone's car. For the rest of us, who are busy hawking our in-laws Wedgwood china just to fill up our gas tanks, we have some good news: You might not have to pawn all of it. There are number of great, simple and painless ways to save gas and increase your fuel economy -- sometimes dramatically. For Tom and Ray's new list of "17 Ways to Increase Your Car's MPG," see http://www.cartalk.com/content/features/fueleconomy/ We promise: We won't try to sell you the Click and Clack magnetic turbogasinator for $99.95, a gallon of Magliozzi Automotive Mystery Phlegm, or anything else for that matter. In the meantime, it's back to work. Casting a wary eye ceilingward, Maury Maille Chicken Little Department Car Talk Plaza P.S. Here's this week's Lame Joke Of The Week, courtesy of Ralph Nitkin: Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now-dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, the fairy godmother appeared. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?" The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?" Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful, but not much of an investor. I'm living hand-to-mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension." Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother." The fairy godmother replied, "It is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?" Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had." At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned. Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years. And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?" Cinderella looked over to the frightened cat in the corner and said, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man." Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither Cinderella nor the world had ever seen. The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life." With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she had appeared. For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, and held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered......... "Bet you're sorry you neutered me." *************** Write Tom and Ray -- Please! Been meaning to write us a witty, brilliant, evocative, insightful letter? No? All right, forget brilliant then. How about sending us something funny we could read on the air? Write Tom and Ray right now at http://www.cartalk.com/email/email.html *************** Useful information alert: How to Get a Free Car Talk CD or Booklet Tired of paying auto club dues to an outfit that lobbies against environmental causes? Check out Better World Club--and in the process get a Car Talk CD or booklet for free! Better World is an auto club with genuinely decent values -- unlike some others we could name... Whose initials happen to be AAA. Better World Club cares about... *Your environmental interests -- it gives 1% of its revenue to environmental clean up and advocacy. *Your consumer interests -- it even offers discounts on hybrid rental cars. *And it has the nation's only bicycle roadside assistance program. Dump your AAA membership and join Better World! If you join via the Car Talk web site now, you'll get a free Car Talk CD, or a copy of our booklet, 10 Ways You May Be Ruining Your Car without Even Knowing It. Check out Better World Club now at http://www.cartalk.com ******************** Got more time to kill? This past weekend's new, lousy Car Talk show is now on the web site, at http://www.cartalk.com/Radio/Show/ ******************** Miss the puzzler? Losing sleep over it? Add your e-mail to our Car Talk Puzzler Psychic Friends Network and we'll personally hand deliver Ray's new puzzler to your inbox every Monday. http://www.cartalk.com/ct/maillist.jsp?puzzler_list=subscribe#psychic ******************* Embarrassed by having e-mails from Car Talk in your inbox? Can't say that we blame you. Unsubscribe any time, via http://www.cartalk.com/ct/maillist.jsp?mailing_list=subscribe
