The cartalk.com TIME KILL WEEKLY Special "Killing Two Birds With One Credit Card" Edition ______________________________________________ Killing Time, Unencumbered by the Work Process ______________________________________________ Maury Maille, Editor
What's new at Car Talk Plaza? Deck the Halls with Car Talk Crapola! Starting today, you can shop at Car Talk Plaza, right from your desk... and take advantage of this year's Car Talk specials. Come on. There's got to be SOME friend or relative who would love a Car Talk CD. OK... distant relative? Former friend? Here's what's new this year: ***A double CD set, "The Best and Second Best of Car Talk." At only $21.95, this is the cheapest way we know of to shim unstable coffee tables.... using new CDs. *** A new Mom and Dad CD gift pack, featuring "Maternal Combustion" and "Why You Should Never Listen to Your Father When It Comes to Cars." (You'll save $5.00, which you can spend on something cheap for yourself!) *** Our Car Tunes Gift Pack, including "Born Not to Run" and "The Car Talk Compendium of Disrespectful Car Songs." (Save another $5.00-- now you're getting somewhere!) It's all at http://www.shamelesscommerce.com/ ... along with lots of other Car Talk stuff, including new items like the third edition of our popular "Lackeys" T-shirt and the companion "Lackey's" mug featuring our fictitious staff, and our Car Talk retro football jersey T-shirt. Plus, ever-popular items like our muffler pack, Car Talk "Lackey" necktie, travel mugs, "Unencumbered by the Thought Process" shirts and mugs, and more. Now, a special request: Buy our stuff. Please. Here's why. Each purchase you make via our lousy web site helps us foot the bills for the Car Talk web site. No kidding. If you like Car Talk (and you have our condolences if you do) and you're going to buy junk for some not-so-loved ones, why not make it Car Talk schlock? When you buy our junk, it means we'll be able to pay our Vitamin D starved lackeys to stream Car Talk online for free, maintain our humungous Mechan-X Files and Car Survey databases-- and continue to distract Tom and Ray with cappuccinos while we soak them for valuable hints and tips on everything from winter driving to scrounging through junkyards to how to buy a used car. Let's face it. Shopping for loved ones is easy. You probably already know what they want. But what about all the not-so-loved ones in your family? Not so easy. But now you have our lousy web site. And we thank you for sharing a small portion of your credit limit with us. Yours in using valuable office bandwidth to avoid the malls, Maury Maille Chief Shipping Dock Swabber P.S. For shipping deadlines and options, see http://www.shamelesscommerce.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/HolidayView?langId=-1&storeId=10101&catalogId=10101 P.S. Here's this week's Lame Joke Of The Week, courtesy of Barbara Summers: A guy is driving around and he sees a sign in front of a house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell, and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a Labrador retriever sitting there. "You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the Lab replies. "So, what's your story?" The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young, and I wanted to help the government; so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. "But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I wanted to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals. I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. "Ten dollars." The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?" "Because he's a liar. He didn't do any of that." ************************ Write Tom and Ray -- Please! Been meaning to write us a witty, brilliant, evocative, insightful letter? No? All right, forget brilliant then. How about sending us something funny we could read on the air? Write Tom and Ray right now at http://www.cartalk.com/email/email.html *************** Useful information alert: How to Get a Free Car Talk CD or Booklet Tired of paying auto club dues to an outfit that lobbies against environmental causes? Check out Better World Club--and in the process get a Car Talk CD or booklet for free! Better World is an auto club with genuinely decent values-- unlike some others we could name... Whose initials happen to be AAA. Better World Club cares about... *Your environmental interests -- it gives 1% of its revenue to environmental clean up and advocacy. *Your consumer interests -- it even offers discounts on hybrid rental cars. *And it has the nation's only bicycle roadside assistance program. Dump your AAA membership and join Better World! If you join via the Car Talk web site now, you'll get a free Car Talk CD, or a copy of our booklet, 10 Ways You May Be Ruining Your Car without Even Knowing It. Check out Better World Club now at Http://www.cartalk.com ******************** Got more time to kill? This past weekend's new, lousy Car Talk show is now on the web site, at http://www.cartalk.com/Radio/Show/ ******************** Miss the puzzler? Losing sleep over it? Add your e-mail to our Car Talk Puzzler Psychic Friends Network and we'll personally hand deliver Ray's new puzzler to your inbox every Monday. http://www.cartalk.com/ct/maillist.jsp?puzzler_list=subscribe#psychic ******************* Embarrassed by having e-mails from Car Talk in your inbox? Can't say that we blame you. Unsubscribe any time, via
