There's nothing wrong with watching some TV every once in a while. Everyone needs a brief escape from reality. Some people drink. Others take a more illicit route [narcotics, hallucinogens]. I don't have a problem with any of these outlets. When consumed intelligently and in moderation, all of these things could provide some potential mental health benefits. I grew up with television. I learned from television; traveled the globe with television. How does a six year old boy fly from New York City to Beijing in half an hour? Elementary, my friends: via television. TV got me through some tough times in my teenage years. I grew up a scrawny kid in a very small, red-neck town in the middle of nowhere, where football was king [think Varsity Blues meets Hee Haw]. If you weren't enthralled with the gridiron gladiators under the Friday night lights, your remaining options were cruising "the drag", drinking, and/or screwing. And, if Friday nights were not bad enough for an un-athletic, pubescent male with no car, no beer, and no "poontang", Monday through Thursday evenings had absolutely zilch/zero/nada to offer. So my "school nights" were pretty much spent on the couch, homework on my lap, eyes glued to the tube. In this small town almost totally devoid of art, darkened by a cloak of ignorance of any culture beyond the reach of its competitive athletic region, I had found a shining cathode ray of light. A beacon, if you will, that showed me the way to the wonderful world of arts and sciences [two words: Discovery Channel]. Okay, okay. It was also a world of glam-rock era MTV, cheesy sit-coms, and your garden variety sex & violence. But, regardless, I learned just as much or more from television as I did in all my years of inferior public education up to that point, and I am thankful for that. Thanks for the cable, mom and dad. Of course things changed in college. I was in a larger town; I met new people. TV consumption decreased dramatically; alcohol consumption increased proportionately. For a brief stint, I did fall victim to the allure of the Playstation. But, overall, I was able to share knowledge with people of varied interests, and television was left behind for a little while. These days, I don't watch much TV, except for the FOX Sunday night ritual of King of the Hill, Simpsons, X-Files [in which I have not participated for many months, now]. There's just not anything on that I feel is worthy of my time. Oh, yeah. I don't have cable. So that narrows down the options to the three grandfather networks [ABC, NBC, CBS], FOX, the WB, UPN, PBS, and Univision [en espanol]. Hey! Sounds like I have quite a variety of options. Wrong! We all know what the major networks have to offer on any given weekday, prime-time: "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?", "Survivor", "Big Brother", etc. Thanks, but no thanks. FOX, the red-headed stepchild of the networks, may have the "world's scariest" police chases, naughty deeds caught on tape [complete with pixel-blurred boobs], and other shock TV fodder to offer, but my appetite for that stuff was satiated back in the glory days of "HBO Undercover". FOX even had it's own, now-defunct, big money show [appropriately titled "Greed"]. Then the brilliant execs at FOX, with their uncanny, unparalleled ability to tap into the minds of the lowest common denominator, decided that people don't want to have to use their brains to win a million bucks. So they assembled a herd of shallow, gold-digging women and paraded them in front of an unlikely millionaire bachelor who was to select one lucky bachelorette to be his bride. "Where did they find such a millionaire?" you ask. Well, I suppose they put an ad in the paper, or something like that. We all know how that turned out. [Red-headed stepchildren, please accept my deepest apologies] And you have the bastards of broadcast in the "WB" and UPN [I apologize to you guys, too, you bastards]. I can't offer too much up about the "WB" [my reception is a bit hazy]. But I highly doubt that I would find much interest in Dawson's Creek, etc. other than the cute girls. I can take a walk outside and get that. Then there are the ethnic niche-marketed sit-coms. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm pleased to see that all twenty-odd Wayans brothers are gainfully employed and that Jamie Foxx has also secured a steady gig. But even the most sympathetic of you, my brothers and sisters, could not fathom the heartache I felt when I tuned in one evening only to find out that LL Cool J had assumed the role of Mrs. Garrett [of "The Facts of Life"] on a family-oriented primetime sit-com. What the hell happened to you LL? Remember when we were young and we used to rock the bells? We would eliminate punks/cut 'em up in chunks. You were bad. Your hat was like a shark's fin. [?!] It's really a damn shame. LL has definitely seen "bigger and deffer" days. What about PBS? I've got no beef with PBS. I'm a sucker for documentaries, and I'll be damned if PBS don't got 'em. But I rarely catch them as they are on at inconvenient times. [Note to self: learn to program the VCR]. So I'm left with Univision. Unfortunately, my Spanish is not too bueno [however, I do understand the universal language of scantily clad women]. But, even if I was a fluent speaker, I doubt that I would find programs such as the Ed Sullivan-esque variety show, "Sabado Gigante", particularly stimulating. But I shall give props back to the good old days of "Chesperito", et al. [Think "Bee Guy" from the Simpson's.] Priceless slapstick. It's not easy being dis-cabled, but I have learned to manage. My best friend [Zach D.] has a complete and comprehensive cable viewing facility with all of the premium channels, including IFC. So I go there once a week for cable therapy. It gets me by. And it looks like I'm going to make it after all. Television may not be "punk rock" or whatever you want. There's definitely a giant heap of steaming programming crap out there. But one shouldn't assume that all TV is crap, or that all television viewers lead boring, pathetic lives. TV can be a fast and easy getaway from some of life's more trying moments. Who knows? Homer Simpson may be the only thing standing between me and my assault rifle and the GAP. [If you have read this far, I apologize.] "Nuthin' to eat and no TV" TG __________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Yahoo! Mail � Free email you can access from anywhere! http://mail.yahoo.com/
