Hello My Friends
Life is sweet
sweet like sugar on a Brown Betty Ice Cream Sunday
Sweet like a fully ripe peach
other times, it's as sour as a triple sour gummy bear
This afternoon when I went to my car (I drive a 3000GT twin turbo. a
great, fabulous and beautiful automobile), my car wouldn't start
Won't start?? what's up with that??
My car is one of the best maintained vehicles you'll find anywhere. I
love my car so much, I make sure to take care of my car
But today my car wouldn't start.. There is something wrong with that picture.
So I popped the hood to check the battery. But it couldn't be the
battery. That was replaced brand new just a few weeks ago. So maybe
the terminals were crusty.
Nope, no crust there. Let's get a screwdriver out of the car.. But
I'm on the passenger side, so I need to use my key again.
Out comes the key and as I get ready to put it in the door... "What's
that?? What the f..."
sonofa..... some bass tard tried to jimmy my car.. Muther******
some lousy sonofa**** tried to use a slim Jim on my car.
Well the joke was on him.. when he opened the door, aside from the
fact that my alarm must have been going off and the ferqin security
schmucks didn't hear it, or just ignored it (my apartment is right by
the guard gate. I mean right by the guard gate. However my car is
about 200 feet away where it cannot be seen)
well my car at least has a security feature!! if the alarm is set
off, the computer shuts the ignition system down so it cannot be started.
Great! the alarm works perfectly.. they couldn't steal my car.
But that must have pissed them off because THEY KEYED THE FERQIN
PASSENGER SIDE FROM FRONT FENDER TO REAR QUARTERPANEL.
Lousy mutha*********
so now that the computer doesn't want to recycle I have to get my car
towed to the shop
$55
and they have to reset the system and at the same time, why not
replace the battery connectors
$125
so while they're doing that, Anna and I went to have lunch so we go
to Hue Thai for some Vietnamese soup. Yum
so my soup gets delivered and I'm chewing on a fishball and .. and...
what's that crunchy stuff.. That's odd.. what's that cru......
hey, what feels so weird.. my tooth... MY FERQIN TOOTH
My crown decided to disintegrate an the enamel is oh-so-crunchy
gee. I wonder what that's gonna cost.. $700-1000 maybe..??
Yum.. what fun I'm having today..
Life is sweet
sweet like drinking water from the sewer after a rainstorm maybe.
Yum!!!
Life is so much fun...
Yum..!!!
So the moral of this story???
You ferqers better start bidding in my auction this week.. Looks like
I'll be needing a few extra buxs
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