Even though movie posters are not mentioned - this feels relatable. To me this essay - (which appeared this week) - has more to do with the theme of how kids look at objects differently in the digital age - than what continues to interest us as kids who eventually become geriatrics , e.g., how the notion that what we pass down will have $$$ value for our kids - is often misplaced, if not outright wrong - (vs. value which is intensely sentimental to us - but a little less so for people who inherit them - vs. the kids or adults outside the family who DO have a genuine interest in them as collectibles). It's why estate planning is better addressed now vs. when everyone is in a rush. My wife right now is prepping the liquidation of another friend's estate - before she passes. Her friend is in a rush for reasons beyond her control. Her friend had plenty of time to do this but kept putting it off. Unlike my wife, her friend is in her 90s and terminally ill - while her friend's husband - unexpectedly passed away last month - who "everyone thought" - would outlive everyone. The liquidation process before death - has now been unexpectedly accelerated - at hyperspeed. And no one feels good about it. No one feels relaxed racing against a clock with a known draining battery that will definitely end - even though no one knows EXACTLY the day it will happen. - d.
===== My Parents Have a Lot of Stuff in Their House. I Don't Want Most of It. Many of us have belongings that meant a lot to our parents and grandparents. How do we decide what to keep — and what to throw away? [https://imagizer.imageshack.com/img923/6100/0NsHa4.jpg?trnonsuspmrk=1] By Allison Pohle - Wednesday, Nov. 1, 2023 9:00 pm ET - WALL STREET JOURNAL On a recent visit to my parents' house, I took a closer look at six Beanie Babies that long took up a spot in my childhood bedroom. Unlike my other Beanie Babies, these six, including a special-edition Princess Diana bear, weren't played with. My grandma urged me to take the utmost care with them, for they would be "collectors' items" one day. If only she were right. My parents' house is filled with no shortage of things my grandma mistakenly considered to have collectors'-item potential: Precious Moments figurines, special-edition Barbie dolls, Welch's glass jelly jars, even some McDonald's toys. My grandma, the fifth of six children who told us she had two dresses as a child, also had collections of her own, the most notable being dozens of small, cartoonish glass ducks. My grandma died several years ago, and unfortunately, none of her investment hopes have come true. When it came time for our family to go through her things, all of that stuff — the ducks, the figurines, the old china — became just that: stuff. A difficult question By now, it is common knowledge that millennials like me don't want the old furniture, china or trinkets that we could inherit when our relatives die, or are offered to us as our parents downsize. In general, we want to experience the world, but not have physical items signifying it. As I've watched my parents navigate their own parents' deaths, and have observed the sheer number of physical items to sort through, I wondered: "How do we millennials know what to throw away and what to save?" Home organizers, financial planners and consignment shops tell me it's a conversation they have with clients every day. They say, though awkward, it is better to have open and honest conversations about estate planning when you can, rather than trying to navigate doing so in the anguish or time crunch after a family member dies. My other grandma collected Hummels, the porcelain figurines popularized in Germany. Some of her giant collection came from her own mother, who grew up there. When my grandma died, my aunt took many of the Hummels. My brother, sister and I each took one. I also took one of my grandma's ducks. But, even though I have spent the past decade living in apartments with a limited amount of space, I did have some guilt about not wanting more of her things. Was I somehow disrespecting her memory, and our connection, by rejecting the things that were important to her? Many people feel responsibility to care for items because they were important to someone else, says Mindy Godding, president of the National Association of Productivity & Organizing Professionals. Some of my friends have china plates sitting in cabinets, while others have boxes of ornaments their parents collected on their behalf. I asked my parents about their own senses of responsibility. The basement in my childhood home is filled with things from my grandparents and from me and my siblings when we were younger. My dad says they keep them out of guilt or sentimentality. But going through the loss of his own parents - has changed how my dad thinks about the things he will leave behind: "What I'm trying to do, isn't to burden you with the guilt of my sentiment," he says. Birthday cards I appreciate that, because I know what it's like to struggle to let go of things. The dozens of cards my grandma sent me aren't just pieces of paper, but represent specific birthdays and holidays. And, for my wedding last year, some guests went off-registry and sent monogrammed items, though I didn't change my last name. I now wonder what to do with these things, but feel bad getting rid of them because they tell the story of people who thought of me during that special time. It is common to assign emotional attachment to inanimate objects, Godding told me. There are stories tied to things and people fear they will lose the story if they get rid of the item. If you are presented with a gift that has a meaningful story attached to it, Godding recommends taking the gift in the spirit that it was given. "Then, when it becomes your possession, you can do whatever you want with that thing, even if that means stopping at Goodwill on your way home," she says. Rather than looking at things as burdens, we should look at ways to preserve their stories but let go of the physical item so it can serve someone else, Godding says. No thanks All of this is why so many people struggle with what to do with inherited collections and other items. "The most common thing we hear is, we don't really want anything," says Travis Sholin, a family wealth adviser at Keystone Financial Services in Omaha, Neb. That's partly a generational thing. As physical things have become more accessible to larger numbers of people, younger generations find more meaning, and fulfillment, in experiences, says Alex Melkumian, founder of the Financial Psychology Center in Los Angeles. We splurge on concert tickets, vacations and celebratory events, like weddings and bachelorette parties. What's more, it isn't as if we're discarding stuff that could bring us wealth. As a general rule, the internet has made it easier to find collectibles, so the value of common items is diluted, says Dennis Sewell, president of the Association of Resale Professionals. Sewell co-owns a consignment store and says he has seen everything from stamp and QVC collections to assortments of Precious Moments like the ones my grandma had and gave to my mom, siblings and me. Still, in the end, what to keep and what to donate — or pitch — is highly personal. Melkumian suggests assessing both the financial and emotional return on investment. The financial ROI can be assessed through market research or a professional appraisal, he says. But the emotional ROI is equally important, though harder to quantify. "Ask yourself how much joy, comfort or sense of connection the item brings to your life," he says. There is also a cost to holding on to things. For me, that most often comes at the cost of space. For others, it can have an emotional cost. "If the costs of keeping the item outweigh the benefits, it might be time to consider letting it go," Melkumian says. My mom has started that process. She spent time in the basement combing through art projects my siblings and I made when we were younger, as well as things from her own mom. She took pictures of everything before deciding whether to throw it away or donate it. "It's hard, but you can't keep everything," she says. In this way, she has separated the story from the item, but still has a photo to show why it was meaningful. As I think about what to keep and what to get rid of, I'll try to keep this advice from my dad in mind: "Try to find a good home for it, but it doesn't mean that home has to be in your home." Allison Pohle is a reporter for The Wall Street Journal in New York. Email her at [email protected]<mailto:[email protected]>. 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