that is very strange.
today i decided that i want a tattoo and that tattoo will be a spider, or
symbolic of one.
i have had a very special experience with a spider aswell john: i was sick for
a week in bed....in a foreign country...worried i would have to go to hospital
with no insurance and, also, my girl wasn't in love with me anymore...(but we
were stuck with each other for the time being).
i had worked myself too hard, was emotionally exhausted and scared...and then a
beautiful dutch man called reiki gave me a book which i read that week in a
slow careful manner...i couldn't get out of bed so i didn't have much else to
distract me.
the book was 'the power of now' by eckhart tolle. it helped. i began to feel
lighter. i began to heal....my appetite came back and i continued to read and
absorb the perennial philosophy as it was presented by eckhart. by the end of
the week i felt centred, safe and in touch with that inner dimension that we
describe with words like 'reverence'; i felt more. isn't it funny that we think
of tears as a sign of sadness....? they are a sign of feeling, of being able to
feel strongly...it is the inability to feel that is truly sad.
i finished the book and put it down on the bed and was still. then i noticed
something. a tiny spider was on my hand. i watched him for a few minutes
scrambling over my white hairs, i became totally entranced....and then he/she
dropped a silken thread down from between my thumb and forefinger and he/she
bobbed up and down on it, doing somersaults and generally giving me a sweet
little show. it was then that the water welled up in my eyes....not a great
deal, just a little...i am a man after all! (read emotional retard), but that
episode was a simple and beautiful and poetic yes! the spider seemed to love
me, and me him/her. something bigger than me was coming through something
smaller than me and saying 'look!, the book is right, your feelings are right,
trust them. and i was grateful.
postscript.
after doing some research i discovered that spider medicine - the totemic
wisdom of the spider - is associated with the feminine and rebirth and the
infinite (8 legs- 8 is the symbol for infinity - der gav!)...the master weaver
(ariadne) - a metaphor for how we weave the strands of our life together. if we
do it well we create something more than the sum of the individual strands - a
synergistic alchemy occurs....and 'hey picasso', our lives become works of art.
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