Driving alone to see my oldest daughter, along the beautiful back roads of the Sacramento valley, I spend a lot of time thinking. Sometimes I turn off the radio, and just let my thoughts travel where they will.
On that particular afternoon, as I got close to the 128/121 split I started thinking over, again, the last time JC and I came this way. We had been discussing, back and forth, the whole way, the different paths we could travel, I *knew* the better way, he, misunderstanding the way I meant, insisted that we go his way. When we had come to the 121/128 split, I had gone straight, because I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that this was the correct way. I had remembered that the first time we had driven this way, I had a map, and I had pulled over, right there, to see which way. And then I had called him, who was following a couple of miles behind in another car, to tell him the correct way to go. But the last time, he had doubted me! I kept driving the way I knew was right, but he kept insisting, “are you sure?”, and “this isn’t the right way”, and “turn around”. But I knew that just around the next bend I would see the short cut, and I was absolutely sure that this was the right way. And yet, as sure as I was, he became more and more sure that he was right. “Do you actually recognize any of this countryside?” “Well, no, but it looks right!” He told me to pull over and turn around, because he was positive that this was the wrong way. He insisted - I pulled over, and we just sat there for a few minutes. He said, “I need you to trust me, even if I’m wrong, you have to turn around.” Well, OK, since he admitted that he might be wrong, I did it. We made a deal, a long time ago - we can argue as much as we want, but when it came to a stalemate, I would give in to him. We had reached our stalemate, and I gave in - but the whole way back, as he’s saying “we went a long way out of our way and we’re going to be late now”, I was saying back, “yeah, NOW we’re going a long way out of our way!”. He said, “OK, when we get to the split, we’ll pull over and ask at the store, so that you can be sure.” So we did, he insisted that I come in with him, so that I wouldn’t doubt what he heard in there, so I did. And when the old-timers in the store both said that he was right, I still doubted, and asked them twice - “are you *sure*?”. And when he started driving in that direction - he had to drive, because I still *knew* he was wrong - down to the tips of my toes! - he asked, "don’t you recognize these landmarks?" “No, As far as I know I’ve never seen this place before!” The feeling held until we came to the short cut - which I did recognize. At which point, I grudgingly had to admit that he had been right all along. Two things stand out strongly to me about the whole, rather surreal afternoon; The first being that no one got mad. That I didn’t end up in tears, there was no screeching of tires, one angry spouse getting out and walking... All of which have happened in the past. The second being - It boggles my mind, how I could be so totally sure of my rightness, and be so totally 100% wrong - what is the “moral” of this story, I wonder? Should I doubt myself on everything now? I guess the one lesson it has reaffirmed in my noggin is that I can trust my husband. Even when he seems like a crazy person to me sometimes, he has a good sense of direction. He will give in to me on a lot of points, but when he knows he’s right, I should just sit back and enjoy the ride - only I still don’t like roller coasters... Lu Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/
