Ian,  I mentioned going back there, I oughta tell you the whole story, which
can be a pain with me sometimes... but there it is.

I ain't been banned yet.

I mentioned somewhere recently about staying at point Reyes in the camper
van with Lu, and I mentioned Haaken, my grandma's stubborn 2nd husband and
how through him I learned all about Norse stubborness, long before I met Bo.

I think there are some real old kinship links there - between Norwegian and
the Scotch-Irish so evident on my grandma's side.  Those tough but loving
women!  I usta think the scotchirish were a blend, you know, of the scottish
and irish peoples, but a good old American History class at Jr. College
taught me my roots.

The Scottish Protestants were the stubborn a-holes who couldn't get along
with the catholic scots or the CofEnglish, and immigrated to Ireland, where
they didn't (and don't to this day) get along with the Irish.  So they
immigrated to America, where they didn't get along with New Englanders and
they went west into the Appalachians and Great Smokies and moved into shacks
where they didn't have to worry about getting along with nobody.

They got along pretty good with the indians, intermarrying lots and breeding
a bunch of tough hungry americans who kept spreading west.

There's a pervasive weed around here, nitrogen -fixing, drought-hardy, so it
loves the many diggins and old workings where the topsoil was torn up by the
same breeds that brought the brush - scotch broom, it's called, green all
year except when it explodes in flower.  Wildly hated.

Mild hallucinogenic effect from smoking the cured flowers.

And where do the Norse come in?  Viking blood, raping and pillaging down the
coasts of England.  Although you gotta wonder sometimes, fishing village
life being a rather boring and tedious repeat of yesterday and the day
before, maybe the vikings and the scottish winked and went raping back and
forth, just for a bit of variety in the days before cinema.  Probably when
it comes down to it, it was the women's idea.  If they'd really fought 'em
off, there wouldn't be so many red heads and blondes amongst the english
speaking descendants of the isles.

Haaken and I didn't get along much.  He was nice enough, but he didn't like
new ideas and I was all full of 'em.  Mostly regarding the garden, which was
his pride and joy.  I helped him with it, but was starting down that path
already that would lead to Fukuoka gardening and permaculture techniques -
idle, shiftless notions about leaving the leaves on the ground as mulch,
rather than sweeping them up and burning them for the sake of neatness.
 Stuff like that.  And I didn't trust all the pesticides and herbicides and
such that he used.  And sometimes, neither did he.  He had his doubts about
chemicals.

For one thing, he was pretty sick.  Old and sick and sometimes he wondered
aloud if all that round up he'd been spraying and breathing all those years
really was a good idea.  I wondered too and if there wasn't some sorta
karmic connection between the industrial cancer we have spread, and the
industrial caused cancers we have become.

But hey, it was his house, his garden.  I was just the hired help.  Me and
Lu, off in the north wing of the double wide, she learning how to bake
bread, cook and clean according to the whims of my picky grandmother, me
learning how to plant and harvest under the tutelage of her husband.  We
didn't enjoy it all that much, but we were pretty happy and it gave us that
chance to be newlyweds, to have a lot of time to ourselves.  That was when I
read ZAMM to Lu everynight as she fell asleep.  Often before I was finished
reading.  She said it was cuz my voice was so soothing but I knew she had a
hard time following some of the metaphysics.  C'mon Bob, couldn't you put a
little more romantic interest in there?

Oops, never mind.  Look where that got us.
Just kidding.  Don't kick me out yet.

I clashed with Haaken enough to know that he wouldn't be at all pleased with
my revised honeymoon proposal.  Initially I was gonna rebuild my vw camper
van.  And I worked on it.  Even had a conception of Quality Maintenance to
guide me, not to mention Bill who took a week off work to come and be my
best man and help get the honeymoon van ready.  But even with following all
the instructions, we did get her rebuilt and started, but she did not sound
good.  And time had run out.

My eyes lingered lovingly on Haaken's Ford Campervan, raised roof, bed and
stove and porta-potty.  A veritable palace compared to my vw, but the
principle involved was that I was supposed to be hoisting my own petard.
 I'd be venturing forth in a craft crafted by me, rebuilt from the ground
up.  A sign of competence and self-reliance to my new bride.  Borrowing my
gran's, hubby's van smacked of "he ain't ready for prime time folks" - which
was already a persistent criticism of air-headed-me that i was *trying* to
dissuade.

So it was tough to walk into that old man's room, and look into his old
man's face, and say, please can I borrow your beloved camper for my
honeymoon?  His tough old face tightened.  His tough old brows narrowed and
he didn't say anything.  Just stared at me as if I'd asked for his life, and
shook his head no.

I played my trump card, of accepting his answer, and started loading up the
van.  And let grandma worry for about a minute and then he called me back
and said ok.    It was kind of an a-hole thing to do to him.  That van was
really his pride and joy.  It'd been his honeymoon van too - he hadn't
really been married long to my granma then, 7 or 8 years. But he loved her
more than anything, even his van.  Plus he probably knew deep down he wasn't
gonna be driving anymore long trips.  And he didn't.  He got worse in the 10
days we were gone, and when we got back he was getting in the back of their
car, to make the trip into the hospital.  He didn't want to go.  But he went
for Grandma's sake.  He knew he was dying, he wanted to die at home.  What
man doesn't?  Hospitals suck.  But at home, grandma would have had to deal
with him, and she just couldn't.  I don't think my new wife was quite ready
for that either, having been a pretty sheltered and pampered princess in her
dad's eyes, and him being an industrial magnate and all... the old story of
the princess and the outlaw.  It's been told before.  I'm really here to
tell the story of the Mean old Norwegian and the scowl on his face as he
hobbled slowly out to the car, just as we pulled up.  By the time we got
out, he was already in the car, but he opened the door, slowly made his way
over to the roses bordering the house, picked a nice red one and came back
and gave it to my wife and took her hand in his and smiled with his whole
soul.

As much as I appreciated the romantic gesture then, and Haaken's taste in
women, its something I think about more as I get older.  The endless story
is man and woman and leaving and finding.  It goes in circles folks.  It
always has.   I pray it always does.  Intellectual claptrap helps pass the
time, but man and woman and circles of love is all there really is.  And
when I say "is", I mean that in the most metaphysical way there is.
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